Have You Been Watching...? The Swarm (Der Schwarm) 2023

What would we do, if one day, our seas turned against us? That’s the intriguing premise of this German produced (and mostly English language) adaptation of the book by German author Frank Shatzing which came out in 2004. The screenplay is by Steven Lally, Marissa Lestrade, Chris Lunt and Michael A Walker and it's directed by Barbara Eder, Luke Watson and Phillipp Stolzl.

The series tells the story, over 8 episodes, of how mankind faces an increasingly dangerous threat from our very own seas. Marine life that is normally docile and friendly, suddenly turns threatening and deadly (in spectacular ways). Mutant sealife causes an epidemic of disease, death and destruction and our seas turn tsunami, wiping out thousands of people.

The series is a truly global affair, and this does make it distinctive from its US contemporaries of big-budget high-concept thrillers.  The cast is multinational, including Sweden’s Alexander Karim (The Wheel of Time), Belgium’s Cecile DeFrance (The Young Pope), Germany’s Leonie Benesch (Around the World in 80 Days) and Oliver Masucci (Dark), Canada’s Joshua Odjick (Three Pines), Japan’s Takehiro Hira (Gran Turismo, Snake Eyes), Finland’s Krista Kosonen (Blade Runner 2049), and England’s Sharon Duncan-Brewster (Years & Years). This wonderful cast are all extremely competent in their roles and clearly committed to the bizarre tale unfolding around them. For our foreign language cast, it’s commendable they perform so much in English and it’s good they get a few scenes in their own first language.

The series is produced by German broadcaster ZDF, with French Television and RAI, with Austrian, Swiss, Swedish and Japanese co-producers. It is the most expensive German produced, English language TV series ever made. The source material being a book is clearly evident in that there doesn’t appear to be much in the way of padding. Everything that happens in the story happens for a reason and fuels what comes after. Our main protagonist is Benesch’s Charlie Wagner, a German researcher stationed in a lighthouse on the Shetland Islands. Through her we are gradually introduced to the other cast and events. Despite some great set-pieces, the series does move along at a snail’s pace, which does hurt the pacing somewhat. However, by the time the ending comes along, we have a better idea of what is happening although some plots are left unresolved. This is possibly down to adapting the material for a potential ongoing series. However, a second series is yet to be confirmed.

The cinematography is truly breathtaking and shows off all the global locations to their full advantage and the special effects are fantastic. There are numerous deaths and the stakes are high but with a small core cast, we don’t get a true feeling of the oncoming apocalypse. That being said, it is wonderful to see a non- American led drama series of this nature and it adds flavour to the genre. At 8 episodes, it’s easy enough to binge watch, but personally I enjoyed pacing the episodes out over a week. While initially broadcast in Europe earlier this year, Now TV have the series available to stream, so do try to avoid spoilers! This is well worth dipping your toes into (but mind the crabs!)

Year: 2023

Episodes: 8

Series: 1 (to date)

Availability: streaming on NOWTV at the time of writing

Have You Been Watching...? Zombies Of Mass Destruction (2009)

 

Zombies of Mass Destruction (aka ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction and even "Zombieworld" in some territories), directed by Kevin Hamedani, is one of those movies that I’d never heard of until I was researching some new movies to watch during the Halloween month of October. I'd read a synopsis and it certainly sounded interesting and I’d watched the trailer, which again looked good. I could not, however, find it anywhere to stream so found a copy on DVD and purchased that. It wasn’t expensive, so I thought if it was terrible, it wouldn’t be such a great loss. It's a purchase I'm very glad I made!

Set in 2003, the movie stars Janette Armand as Frida Abbas, a Princeton University dropout who returns to the small island town of Port Gamble. At the same time, another ex-resident Tom Hunt (played by Doug Fahl) arrives with his boyfriend Lance (Cooper Hopkins) with a view to come out to his mother over dessert. These two storylines seem innocuous enough to the viewer, but there is a reason this movie is set in 2003. This is the era of post 9/11, the Iraq war, George W Bush is president and the fear of terrorism is at its peak. Heavy topics for a low budget zombie flick.

The people of Port Gamble are small minded and hold bigoted views. This plays significantly in the stories of Frida, Tom and Lance. The locals all seem to believe Frida and her father come from Iraq, despite her frequent reminders they are from Iran, a completely different country and that she herself is born and raised in America. Tom relates to Lance that a boy he had a crush on in school was outed and had a terrible experience, so he has been terrified of coming out since (the couple now reside in New York). As all this is happening, slowly, some of the residents are becoming zombified. It isn't made clear how this is happening, or the root cause (no chemical waste in this scenario) but you don't need to know how. 

The movie is a very low budget affair (the biggest name cast member appears to be Russell Hodgkinson, who played series regular “Doc” in Z Nation), but don't let that put you off.  This movie is great! There are some decent special effects and the script is hilarious. There are copious amounts of gore and humour throughout, although it takes a while to get going. Once it does, there’s no stopping it. I found myself laughing so much one minute and squirming at some of the gore and the situations our heroes find themselves in, the next.

Despite being a zombie horror movie on a low budget, there is something really sweet about it. The viewer finds itself rooting for Frida, Tom and Lance as their situations get worse by the minute. Yes, there are very uncomfortable moments when the trio face the prejudices against them, but they are without doubt the heroes of this adventure and the voices of reason in the face of small-mindedness. In the era of post 9/11 and the associated paranoia that came from that, the movie is a breathtaking reflection on that time told from the perspective of those being persecuted. Not all of the townspeople are so petty and there are clues that Tom’s homosexuality is not quite the secret he thought it was.

The cast are extremely competent in their roles and at less than 90 minutes long, it gets rolling quite quickly. It’s definitely worth investing in and you won’t be disappointed!

Year: 2009

Availability: in the UK, appears to be on DVD only

Rating 8/10  

 

Have You Been Watching...? Dead (2020)

 

Antipodean movies don’t tend to get much exposure over here in the UK, but sometimes one comes along that stands out from most. Films such as Australiens, Housebound and the Wyrmwood movies are all great genre movies with that wonderful bizarre humour that tends to only comes from Australia and New Zealand, mixed nicely with the drama and scares.

Dead was released in 2020 and stars comedian Thomas Sainsbury, whom you may know from the “What we do in the Shadows” spin-off “Wellington Paranormal” as hapless Constable Parker. I recently came across this on the usual streaming services and it was well worth the investment.

The movie tells the story of Marbles (Sainsbury), a stoner who can see and communicate with ghosts. Whether he likes it or not. One day, he comes across the ghost of Police Officer Jayson Tagg (Hayden Weal), recently killed in the line of duty and minus his pants (which means poor Weal spends the entire film in his undies). Together, they try to catch a serial killer who appears to be bumping off young gay men. While this sounds like it should be serious stuff, the movie doesn’t hold back from playing it for laughs.

As the buddy-cop friendship develops between Marbles and Tagg, the copper’s reasons for being so steadfast in his attempts to catch the killer are teased out bit by bit. Their investigations lead to them to an array of quirky oddball characters and bizarre plot twists which also involve zombies.

While some of the jokes do fall a little flat, there is plenty to enjoy in this light-hearted and very silly romp. However, it is a romp with a lot of heart and leads to a cheesy, yet very sweet ending.

There have been a lot of movies lately that built up a concept only to fall flat on it’s face, and I’ve written quite a few entries which haven’t been over complimentary where this occurs. “Dead” might not be the biggest, incredible movie of all time, but it is one of the few recent movies that has made me laugh out loud, smile at the right moments, and just make me feel warm and happy inside.

The movie is definitely Sainsbury’s vehicle, and he leads the it well portraying Marbles as someone with this incredible gift that doesn’t really want it but helps people anyway. Weal deserves kudos for portraying Tagg as this funny, affectionate and dedicated copper, with secrets of his own, and doing it ALL without trousers.

Written by its two stars and directed by Weal, they know exactly what to do in order to get the most from each and every shot. The love and care for the material shines through.

If you like Antipodean cinema and genre movies in general, you would do well in investing time with this one. It might not rock your world, but you won’t regret it.

Year: 2020

Availability: digitally to buy or rent

Rating: 7/10

Have You Been Watching...? Phase IV (1974)

 

Phase IV is one of those movies that I’d heard of but always got confused with something else. Ants taking over the world? Somehow this, in my mind, became the Joan Collins vehicle “Empire of the Ants” which did come out a few years after Phase IV. I recall Empire of the Ants from when I was little and being underwhelmed, had no intention of ever seeing it again. However, in 2012, the long lost director’s ending to Phase IV (it had been believed destroyed) was recovered. Mildly perusing the internet, I came across the lost ending video and watched it. I was instantly intrigued. This was NOT the giant ant movie I thought it was. So I sought out a copy.

This is a very strange movie. I’ve seen reviews describing it as “creepy”. It’s directed by a chap called Saul Bass, who is apparently big in the “title sequence” genre, and this is his only feature length work. I feel a little sad about that as Phase IV is GREAT. Made in 1974 on a very low budget, it tells the story of the aftermath of a “celestial event”, that appears to have left earth unaffected. One scientist discovers that various species of ant have begun to co-operate and communicate and take out the opposition. Scientist Hubb (played by British actor Nigel Davenport (Chariots of Fire, Man for All Seasons) and Scientist Lesko played by Michael Murphy (The Mayor in Batman Returns) seal themselves off in a dome in Arizona after the ants build seven large towers. The ants behaviour scares most of the population away apart from one homestead, who decide to stay and fight. Thus begins a battle of wits between the human scientists and intelligent ants.

There is a tiny cast in this movie (pun intended!) with only 3 main characters. The filming of the ants and stopmotion work is incredible, giving genuine personality to the ants. While a lot of people describe this film as terrifying, I found it a lot of fun. Each side takes a turn on the other, like a game of chess. There are a few grisly deaths, although off screen (depending if you think a Mantis gorging on an ant is grisly or not). I found myself rooting for the ants a few times! It is implied that this is happening world over, but you never really get a feel of that, and that the two scientists seem to be the only ones with nay idea what’s going on.

Brian Gascoigne provides the music and I do quite like the 70s creepy synth work in this. It certainly marries up nicely with the images. When the viewer does reach the ending, it’s easy to see why the director was upset at the changes the studio made. The theatrical ending, while giving an explanation of sorts as to what the ants are up to, is nothing compared to the trippy and terrifying alternate ending. You would do well to seek it out.

It might be an oldie, but Phase IV is definitely worth looking in on. Apparently it has gathered quite the cult status and I can see why. It’s not amazing and unlikely to shake your world, and there are a few plot holes (particularly one moment of ants revenge when I had no idea it WAS ants revenge). It runs for just under 85 minutes and if approached with an open mind, you might enjoy this too!

Year: 1974

Availability: on Blu Ray from 101 films, digitally on streaming services.

Rating: 5/10

 

Have You Been Watching...? Lifeforce (1985)

 

I first saw “Lifeforce”, the 1985 Canon Group British/US horror movie, back in the 1990s, at some ungodly hour when I was a student. I recall being quite impressed by it. It was certainly unusual.

Fast forward to 2023 and I’ve recently watched it again, this time in glorious High Definition, and I have to admit, having not seen it in years meant I enjoyed it even more this time around.

The movie is based on a novel called “The Space Vampires” which does give the plot away somewhat. In the novel by Colin Wilson, the vampires suck out the victim’s life force/essence, thus making the renaming for the film a good move, it takes away that “spoiler”. The cast features a “who’s who” of cult TV and movie stars. Leading the pack is Patrick Stewart, just a few years away from his Captain Picard days. Joining him is Peter Firth (The Flipside of Dominick Hyde, Another Flip for Dominick, Spooks), Nicholas Ball (Hazell, Red Dwarf as the Justice Simulant, John Hallam (Moonbase 3, Dr Who as Light, Flash Gordon), Nancy Paul (whom I knew as Sara Brogan in Space Precinct) and Steve Railsback (sci-fi fans may remember him as alien abductee Duane Barry setting off a plotline that would run the entire series). The movie is directed by the legendary Tobe Hooper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Salem’s Lot, Poltergeist, Invaders from Mars) and the music is by Henry Mancini (The Pink Panther, Breakfast at Tiffanys “Moon River”)

Lifeforce occupies a space in 1980s scifi horror fantasy in which the whole style of it, the cinematography, the special effects and music all combine to make a product of its time. It’s all swishy lights and lightning. Another example of this is the fantasy movie Krull and similarly, Highlander which all came out around the same time. Unfortunately, Lifeforce goes for a very mature audience, which means there’s a LOT of nudity. With a modern viewpoint, that can be a bit uncomfortable as they have no concerns showing female full frontal nudity but the men are spared.

So our story concerns a spaceship finding an alien craft near Halley’s comet (so 1985). They explore and find the remain of an alien culture and 3 humanoid forms in stasis. Later, the humans craft is destroyed and in the blink of an eye, the humanoid forms are now on earth being investigated. Of course, it all goes wrong and they escape to wreck havoc. It transpires that they’ve been here before! Our vampire legends have evolved from them. There are some truly impressive effects for the time, especially the exploration of the alien craft and the act of lifeforce transference, and if you can spot it, watch out for a surprising detail in the eyes of the vampires and their victims. Our heroes are Col. Colin Caine (Firth) and Col. Tom Carlson (Railsback),  It turns out one of our intrepid heroes is linked the space vampires in more ways than one and could be our saviour. Cue a lot of running (and flying) around, vampire shenanigans, gore aplenty, London being raised to the ground by second generation lifeforce vampires and nice characters getting bumped off in gruesome ways. As dramatic and illuminating the final scene is, I’m still not 100% sure how it ended. It runs for 116mins (international cut) and surprisingly doesn’t seem to lag at all. It’s helped along by the fact our space vampire can jump into others’ bodies and the “investigation” of our heroes probably helps keep it flowing.

Lifeforce is not a masterpiece by any margin, especially when it gets to the “apocalypse” phase, but it’s a cracking yarn and actually a lot of fun. There are some decidedly “iffy” moments (the bit on the helicopter is interesting but seems to serve no purpose and you may never see Picard in the same way again). However, if there are no kids around and you don’t mind seeing a bit of “ladyparts”, you’ll quite possibly enjoy this one!

Year: 1985

Availability: Currently streaming on Amazon Freevee (at time of writing), also on Blu Ray from Arrow Video.

Rating: 7/10

 

Have You Been Watching...? Gatlopp (2022)

 

Once upon a time, well 1995, a movie came out and immediately entered the public consciousness: Jumanji. The tale of a game that trapped its players and caused havoc. It was a huge big-budget spectacle that spawned spin-offs and sequels aplenty. That isn’t the tale of 2022’s “Gatlopp”, sometimes subtitled “Hell of a Game.”

Yes, it’s a film based on a game that traps its players and causes havoc, but that’s really where the similarities end. Gatlopp is not aimed at kids and has a much lower budget. But it’s FANTASTIC.

The film’s cold open and title sequence nicely set up what to expect. In our tale, four friends who have drifted apart, come together for an evening. One has come into possession of a “credenza” (or as I know them: a sideboard)and inside is a board game called, yes you guessed it, “Gatlopp”. The word turns out to be Swedish for “Gauntlet” or moreso “running the gauntlet” another clue as to what’s about to happen.

In the most movie way possible to make their actions believable, the friends do not read the instructions that come with the game (uh-oh) and as the strange events unfold, they realise they are indeed trapped and must finish the game or……they play it for all eternity.

There are some special effects in the movie, but the main difference is the game forces people to tell the truth, or there are consequences. As the game progresses, the friends lies and cover-ups are brought to the fore and their friendships are severely tested. If they fail, or don’t answer in time, they must suffer, one makes a brief visit to hell, while another finds themselves with an arrow embedded in their leg (yes, that might be a spoiler, but you really won’t see it coming).

For all of this happening and their ridiculous situations, the most important thing for me with this movie is: it’s hilarious. Our four main cast: Paul (played by Jim Mahoney who played bubbly headed “Brosk” in “The Orville”), Cliff (played by Jon Bass from genre comedies “She-Hulk” and “Miracle Workers”), Sam (played by Emmy Raver-Lampman whom fantasy fans may recognise from Netflix’s “The Umbrella Academy”) and Troy (played by Sarunas J Jackson who has appeared in drama series “Good Trouble”) are totally believable in their roles and there is a genuine sense that these are real friends who have drifted apart but still care about each other (even one time lovers Sam and Troy). The script is witty and the dialogue does not come across as forced. They speak like real friends speak. Their reactions are believable, even THEY can’t believe the mess they are in. The film is directed by Alberto Belli, who does a sterling job with limited sets and small cast. The message or moral of the story is nothing shocking. One tries to justify the group by saying “We are good people”, only to be told they are not. They are just people. It’s true. They aren’t saints OR sinners. They are just everyday folk who sometimes make calamitous mistakes. This message sets up a very funny, if somewhat startling, final scene.

With a brisk running time of 80 minutes, it makes the most of the short run-time meaning it never feels padded or flags for any meaningful period of time. It’s quick, funny and immensely enjoyable. The effects are good (for what they are. Hell is represented by someone getting a very, very bad sun burn). I hope you do look in on this one.

Year: 2022

Availability: Streaming on Amazon Prime (for free at the time of writing)

Rating: 7/10

Have You Been Watching...? Get Duked! (2019)

 

In my quest to find entertainment that entertains, I quite like to find myself getting surprised by little gems that have gone un-noticed. Get Duked! (complete with exclamation mark) is one of those little gems. If you have ever seen the BBC series “Stag”, you will find some similarities with this little 90 minute Amazon Original, but don’t let that put you off.

Get Duked! (originally titled Boyz in the Wood) focusses on 3 “chavvy” types who have been selected by their school’s headmaster to go on a “Duke of Edinburgh scheme” outdoors challenge. For those unaware, this is a scheme created by the Duke of Edinburgh way back, to encourage team work and community among young people and is still going strong to this day. Mr Carlilse, their teacher (a great turn by Jonathan Aris whom you may know from Sherlock and His Dark Materials) takes the group to the Scottish highlands, where they must find their way to their campsite using team-work, orienteering and foraging skills. Our group is Samuel Bottomley (Ackley Bridge, The Teacher, Somewhere Boy) as slightly-more-reasonable Ian, Lewis Gribben (Somewhere Boy, Deadwater Fell, T2: Trainspotting) as dim Duncan, Viraj Duneja as wannabe hip-hop star “DJ Beatroot”, and Rian Gordon as Dean. Whereas Dean, Duncan and DJ all know each other, Ian is the slightly quieter one who actually WANTS to be on the expedition.

As our story progresses, the group of 4 find themselves the target of a gunman in the shape of Eddie Izzard and his equally psychotic wife played by Georgie Glen. The two have decided that young people these days are ruining everything and decide they require culling. Clues to this are laid along the way, including an ominous “missing persons” board where the gang are dropped off. As our hapless group try to avoid becoming the newest entries on the board, they find themselves in all sorts of ridiculous scrapes.

As a British comedy about young people there are, of course, numerous reference to drugs, but again don’t let that put you off. The movie is downright hilarious, and probably way more funny that I ever though it should be. The main cast are utterly charming in their roles and their exploration of friendship is a lovely thing developed throughout the movie. There are some hilariously bizarre moments, including what the farming community get up to of an evening, the local coppers trying to find their next big case and some of the funniest deaths ever put on film (probably). All of this builds up to a surprisingly satirical, yet thoughtful, finale that will have you thinking even after the movie has ended.

Our main cast are supported by Izzard and Glen, but there are also appearance from Game of Thrones stars James Cosmo and Kate Dickie, Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace star Alice Lowe, Sunshine of Leith’s Kevin Guthrie and a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance from Dr Who’s Young Amy Pond Caitlin Blackwood. Hidden away behind one of the masks is one-time Steve Wilson from Prisoner Cell Block H himself James Smillie.

It’s been a while since I laughed out loud so much during a movie that I thoroughly enjoyed this one. It’s very well written, tightly plotted and with some great directional choices. There are also some very funny little background details so keep your eyes open!

I was also quite surprised to see one of the producers was none other than Hollywood Spider-man star Tobey Maguire.

Overall, if you enjoyed movies like “Attack the Block” and Tv Shows like “The Inbetweeners”, you will find plenty to enjoy in this.

Year: 2019

Availability: at the time of writing, streaming on Amazon Prime

Rating: 8/10

Have You Been Watching...? The Rig (2023)

 

Have You Been Watching…? The Rig

I got terribly excited when I first heard of Amazon Prime’s supernatural thriller The Rig. A “Base Under Siege” story set on board an oil rig, where something in the water is a-stirring. The 6 part series has a stellar cast, including Game Of Thrones’ Iain Glen and Owen Teale, Line of Duty’s Martin Compston, Scottish actor Mark Bonnar from BBC's Paradox (and sci-fi fans might know him from many Big Finish productions), The Full Monty’s Mark Addy and Shitt’s Creek’s Emily Hampshire. The series comes from the pen of Scottish writer Daniel MacPherson, and is an original series, not based on any of his published works.

The entire 6 part saga dropped on Amazon Prime on 6^th January 2023. Writing about this will be difficult without divulging spoilers, so BE WARNED!

The crew of the Kinloch Bravo are awaiting transport back to land to see their loved ones when “something” occurs. Transport isn’t coming and a strange cloud formation begins to roll in, enveloping the rig. A series of strange occurrences begin to take place, loyalties and friendships are tested, and the crew begin to wonder if what’s happening on board is truly supernatural or more of this earth. People die and the whole thing has a feeling of the old Dr Who serial “Fury From The Deep”.

The series is great to look at with great sets, great CGI and effects work and top notch performances all around. However, I found many things that take place are so ridiculous that it took me out of the drama. The series is also possibly too long. I found Episode 4 a slog to watch and came across as padding to get the series up to it’s 6 episode quota. It’s also a frustrating watch. These sensible and hard working people make the most bizarre decisions and you can almost see the “this is to progress the plot” signs throughout. For instance, what Owen Teale’s slimy character Hutton gets up to is not only staggeringly unbelievable, but impossible that repercussions don’t take place. Rather than the plot fluidly taking place, there’s a lot of suspension of disbelief required. I generally don’t mind that, sometimes a good sci-fi yarns requires it, but when it clunks along and makes you want to bang their heads together, it’s not a fun ride.

The last two episodes make a good job of tying the mysteries together, but sadly, there’s a few scenes that just don’t make sense and clearly just set the whole thing up for a second series. Although I wonder where a second series of this plot can go, it does end on a sequence I didn’t think would come and took me pleasantly by surprise.

That being said, the whole series isn’t awful, it’s just not great either. I do want to see where the series will take the viewer, and I thoroughly enjoyed some of the characters, despite my frustrations at their actions. Maybe being stuck on an oil rig while all this is going on does affect your decision making skills!

It’s worth tuning in for, but I would probably advise against binge-watching it and spread it out, otherwise you too may find yourself getting frustrated!

Series count: 1

Episode count: 6

Availability: all 6 episodes available to stream on Amazon Prime.

 

 

 

Have You Been Watching...? Wednesday (2022)

 

The Addams Family has been around for ages. Firstly, a comic, then a fondly remembered 1960s sitcom, two amazing 90s feature films (less said about the third, the better) two recent animated features (which I’m not too bothered about) and now this, a spin-off centred around Miss Wednesday Addams.

When I heard of this project, I was wasn’t sure it would worth my time, but then Tim Burton was linked to it and Christina Ricci (who played Wednesday in the 90s movies), Catherine Zeta Jones and Gwendoline Christie all attached to it. This began to sound like something special.

The 8 part limited series, “Wednesday”, is a triumph. The new Addams family cast are wonderful. Catherine Zeta Jones is truly a great luscious and mysterious Morticia, and Luis Guzman is literally perfect as Gomez, not as traditionally handsome in the mould of Raul Julia, but more in keeping with the comics. Their insane lust/love for each other makes for great comedy. Isaac Ordonez as Pugsley brings a sweet vulnerability to the role that was missing from the movies and he’s a very sympathetic character. As great as they are, it’s Jenna Ortega’s show as the new Wednesday. She is magnetic to watch. Dour, but full of humour and she doesn’t blink in her scenes, adding a great otherworldliness to Wednesday. The “internet” was full of criticism for some of the casting choices, but needless to say, don’t believe all you read on the web.

The new series strips the show of the main family, although they appear throughout (one of the family is practically a regular), but moves Wednesday to the Nevermore Academy. This is a special school for special students of which Morticia and Gomez have been previous alumni. This is a home to werewolves, sirens, gorgons and all sorts of creepy and kooky monsters in the form of human teenagers. While I have little interest in teen supernatural dramas, this one has just the right blend of humour and horror to satisfy even the most ardent of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans.

Having watched Episode 1, directed by the legend that is Tim Burton and scored by Danny Elfman, I felt I had tired of Wednesday’s behaviour. I wanted more of the residents of Nevermore Academy, led by the delicious Gwendoline Christie as the head teacher Larissa Weem, an old rival of Morticia’s. I wanted to learn more about the town of Jericho and how they live side by side with this world of mythical creatures. However, as the story progresses, my appetite was well and truly fed.

The crux of the series is that having been dispatched to Nevermore, Wednesday finds herself caught up in a mystery and a number of deaths. The mystery isn’t the deaths themselves, its clear early on how they die, it’s the who and why that forms Wednesday’s investigation. Along the way we meet her fellow classmates including the impossible to dislike, permanently chipper Enid, a werewolf who hasn’t reached wolf-out stage yet.  Enid is played by Emma Myers who on the face of it should be an irritating character due to her constant perkiness, but really is a sweet and kind girl. Hunter Doohan  plays Wednesday’s “will they wont they” love interest Tyler, Joy Sunday plays Bianca, a siren who is keen to knock Wednesday down a peg or two and ex-Wednesday herself, Christina Ricci plays Marilyn Thornhill, one of the school staff, almost unrecognisable from her Addams Family days (I didn’t even realise who she played until episode 2).

Our mystery is evenly paced, and intricately plotted which, if the series ran for a longer run that 8 episodes, could have been a problem.  However, in this bite-size series, it just fits tidily, although the last episode does rattle along at an incredible pace.

As the Wednesday series is still incredibly current, this report will stay spoiler free. Is it worth almost 8 hours of your time to watch? Yes. You may be pleased to know in advance it IS a self-contained story. I don’t think that’s a spoiler, none of the pre-publicity suggested it was an on-going series. This new series has created such a great new world for the Addams’ that any further instalments need not even have to be centred around Wednesday at all. Die-Hard fans will enjoy all the subtle (and not to subtle) easter eggs littered throughout.

Year: 2022

Episode count: 8

Availability: Currently streaming on Netflix.

Have You Been Watching...? Nope (2022)

 

There has been a lot written about the movie “Nope” since it’s release in August 2022. My intention is to try to write something different, to give a different perspective on it.

Nope is write/director Jordan Peele’s third horror movie outing, following the huge success of “Get Out” and “Us”. Both of those horror movies are firmly grounded in a believable reality. When I heard that Peele was doing a third movie, I wondered would it stand up to the other two? Would he go the way of other famed director M. Night Shayamalan, whose initial movies were equally well received but then  came “Lady in the Water” and it all went somewhat wrong. Can Peele avoid such a calamity?

In a word, yes. Nope is something special. In fact, I think I enjoyed it much more than Get Out or Us.

The movie is set in a rural area of the USA. Rancher OJ, played by Get Out’s Daniel Kaluua (Dr Who fans shouldn’t forget his turn in Planet of the Dead) and his dad run a range rearing horses for the entertainment industry. Within the first few minutes of the film, something occurs meaning OJ has to run the ranch himself and the story jumps forward six months. OJ’s feisty sister turns up and provides a wonderful dynamic with her brother. OJ, however, discloses that their father’s departure was not quite as initially made out. This results in the siblings recruiting Angel, a tech nerd from a local store and the involvement of TV’s Kid Sheriff child-star Jupe, played by the Walking Dead’s Steven Yeun, becoming involved in the increasing mystery of “something in the sky” above the ranch. Interspersed throughout the main narrative is Jupe’s childhood take from his own celebrity days leading to his own current circumstances. It seems irrelevant, and at times jarring with the ongoing bigger story, but it all makes sense towards the end.

I am certainly not going to spoil this movie for you, but as per Peele’s previous endeavours, circumstances are not quite what they seem, and it IS a horror movie so there are chills and screams aplenty.

Several reviews of the movie highlight the meaning of the film, being about the need for entertainment and spectacle, but even if you don’t “get” that from the film, it’s still an amazing piece of work, ranging from the long silence of a barren range in the style of Brokeback Mountain to the breath-holding nightmare of something like Spielberg’s Jaws. The movie is remarkably well cast and believable in their roles. When a movie is so well cast you forget to bother about “what have they bene in before”, then you know you’re onto a winner. So far, so good for Peele, this is definitely 3 out of 3 home runs. Much in the same way that “Signs” is my favourite Shayamalan movie, it’s these smaller stories that appeal to me more.

The story is immaculately well-plotted, even if you don’t think so to begin with. Each character has a back story and come across as rounded and believable individuals. The special effects, when they kick in, are astounding and I have to admit to having seen nothing quite like it in a movie of this nature.

I wrote this not long after seeing the movie, and some time has passed. It still haunts me even now.

Year – 2022

Availability – Still playing in cinemas and available to rent from online streaming services.

Have You Been Watching...? The Hammer House of Horror - The House That Bled To Death

 

It is hopefully clear by now that, not only will I be giving my thoughts on complete serials, but also individual episodes. When I first thought about doing this blog, there was one episode I knew I had to write about. This particular episode of a well-remembered horror series haunted me for many years (my own fault, having been far too young to watch it, but telling mum I was sick so I could “sleep” on the sofa and therefore watch this…).

The Hammer House of Horror is a 13 episode anthology series, first broadcast in 1980, and produced by ITC entertainment with Cinema Arts international and broadcast on ITV. Each 50 minute episode (1hr with ads) stood alone and there was no running theme through the series or host for that matter.

Each episode opened with a “teaser” (as short scene or two that set up the episode, then the opening credits. I mention this specifically as, for me, opening credits and theme tunes are just as important as the episodes themselves, for any series. Hammer house of Horror is no exception. The opening titles are a mixture of gothic eerie imagery, shadows in windows and help set up the creepiness of the series nicely, coupled with its amazingly atmospheric theme tune. There is no doubt watching these opening credits that you are in for a spooky ride.

Having nestled nicely in the back of my mind since 1980, my first recent exposure to this episode was on a VHS release, and then most recently, it gloriously remastered Blur-ray edition. Depending on the release, the episodes were issued in different orders, on VHS, The House that Bled to Death was episode one, but not on the blu ray. It does not matter, though, as running order doesn’t change the enjoyment.

So, the House that Bled to Death tells the story of the Peters, a small family comprising of Mum, Dad and their young daughter Sophie. They excitedly move into their new home in a nice residential area in the south of England. What they are unaware of, is the bloody history of the house. You, as a viewer, will be aware of this thanks to the “teaser” opening. Yes, we are into haunted house territory in contemporary England. As the episode rolls on, the house begins telling its horrific history through a series of pretty damn scary incidents. The one that lingered in my memory and secured it’s place in my history, was the scene that takes place at a party for Sophie. {spoiler coming} Sophie and a group of children are all enjoying themselves and the party is happily ticking along, when there is a banging sound and the creaking of pipes which dampens the party atmosphere. All of a sudden, the pipes burst and the party guests are sprayed with a bright vivid red blood. Cue screams and clearly distressed children and adults. The scene is quite unlike anything I had ever seen before or since.

The scares keep coming, until the truth of the episode is eventually revealed, and it is NOT what you would think. The entire haunted house story turns out to be a hoax, concocted by Mr Peters himself, as he was indeed aware of the history of the house. Indeed, there is a lot more to the Peters’ relationship than meets the eye! Having then been able to sell it to Mr AJ Powers, who then turned the Peters’ story into a book and film (in a way satirizing the Amityville Horror story, which was released in 1979), and he now is £1 million pounds richer. Powers’ part to play in the story is also more than the viewer might think. The family relocate to America, where they are living “the dream”. However, young Sophie soon discovers her part in the hoax and decides to take a bloody vengeance on Mum and Dad, using the same machete knives from the opening teaser.

It is a very clever script for the series, which relies on his horror, both in terms of storytelling, and from its legacy using the “Hammer” name. To then spin it around that the story is in fact a hoax, is very brave. The final denouement is interesting, Is Sophie acting out of revenge for her murdered cat? (yes, that happens) or is she in fact possessed by the spirits from the house? Has the hoax in fact had a truth behind it?

Nicholas Ball (whom sci-fi fans might recall as the Simulant from the “Justice” episode of Red Dwarf) and Rachel Davies (extra kudos to you if you remember her as Camilla in the Dr Who story  State of Decay, incidentally broadcast the same year) play the main couple, William and Emma Peters, while Milton Johns (mentioned in this blog having starred in King of the Castle and Dr Who) plays Mr Powers, the man who eventually writes a book about the Peters’ experiences in the house. Emma Ridley plays young Sophie while Blakes 7 star Brian Croucher makes an appearance as “George” one of the neighbours from across the road (whose introduction to the story is rather disturbing!).

It is a great “modern” horror yarn, and the lengths the couple go to to ensure the believability of the hoax wouldn’t go amiss with today’s Youtuber/tik tok fame seekers.

Year: 1980

Series count : N/A

Episode count: 1 (of 13) - depending which programme list you're following!

Availability: DVD/Blu Ray/streaming on Britbox

Have You Been Watching...? Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)

 

Back in the late 1970s/early 80s, family friendly film provider Disney experimented with what some people refer to as the “Dark Disney” era. This is a series of films made by the producer that err on a slighty-more-scarier and frightening side than most previous Disney movies. Examples of these include The Watcher in the Woods (if you ever get to see the alternative ending, watch it! It’s even scarier that the theatrically released one), The Black Hole (seeing Anthony Perkins get eviscerated by a robots propeller), and the Black Cauldron. For some reason, the 1983 released Something Wicked This Way Comes frequently gets left off this list. It’s not readily available outside the US and is missing off Disney+ etc. Personally, I think the main reason for this is, even though the other movies are clearly scary kids movies, SWTWC is 100% a decent horror film, just not gory. Well, hold that thought.

Something Wicked This Way Comes is based on a story by renowned sci-fi author Ray Bradbury (Martian Chronicles, The Illustrated Man and so much more). What makes the film special, is that he also wrote the screenplay for it. Most people will say a book is nothing like the film or vice versa, and while the movie changes from the book, it is absolutely in line with the thoughts and unsettling style of the story.

The movie sets the story in what appears to be default Disney world, circa 1920s/30s(?) small town America. Two young boys, born on the same night to different families, but a few minutes apart, have grown up together and are best friends. They are Will Halloway, a quiet studious young boy, and more free-spirited Jim Nightshade. Will lives with his mum and (clearly a lot older) Dad, while Jim lives with his Mum, his father is not on the scene. On their way home from school one day, Jim buys a “lightning rod” from an apparent vagrant called Mr Fury. While fitting the lightning rod, Jim and Will find a pamphlet advertising a travelling carnival coming to town.

Seeing the train arrive, the boys set off excitedly to the location to find the carnival all set up and running. The next day, the townsfolk attend the carnival, which appears to supernaturally fulfil their desires. A bartender missing an arm and a leg sees himself in a mirror with his missing limbs back. The local barber, who is very into his women, attends a show with exotic dancers, where he is transformed into a bearded lady, Mr Tetley who is obsessed with money and gambling gets turned into a wooden statue and Ms Foley, the elderly teacher wishes for her to be young and beautiful again, and becomes young and beautiful, but loses her sight to see herself.

All this happens under the watchful gaze of Mr Dark, who runs the carnival, and may or may not be the actual devil. Dark is played by the Welsh actor Jonathan Pryce, looking dashingly handsome in this! As the story progresses our two young heroes find a carousel capable of turning people older or younger, incurring the wrath of Dark who sets out to get them. Using a parade trough town to hunt the boys, we see the townsfolk transformed by the carnival are now part of the carnies. The boys enlist the help of Will’s dad to help evade capture. Mr Dark even uses his tattoos to show images of the boys in order to help catch them. Mr Halloway, who is the towns librarian, discovers the carnival had visited the town previously and his own father had fought them.

This all leads to a confrontation with Dark, the disclosure of Mr Halloway’s own dark secrets and the power the love of a son for his dad can have. It also results in one of the most visually gruesome death scenes in a Disney movie!

There are so many unsettling and disturbing moments in this film, from the prices paid by the townsfolk for having their desires (and we DON’T see them revert back to normal, so assume they are lost for good), to one horrific moment when Will sees an image of himself being decapitated and the film SHOWS the head in a basket. If you suffer from arachnophobia, there’s another scene that will give you nightmares for weeks.

I absolutely LOVE this movie. I love Bradbury’s work in general and this is one of the best adaptations of his work EVER. Jonathan Pryce (Dr Who: Curse of fatal Death, 007 The World is Not Enough) is enthralling as Mr Dark, creepy, eerie and downright scary. The young boys are good but the next best performance is Jason Robards (All the President’s Men, The Day After) as Charles Halloway, conveying the anguish of failing to protect his son, and wishing he could be the more active dad for his boy while being the older man he actually is, medical problems and all.

Maybe “Horror” is too strong a term for this, but it’s certainly nightmare fuel. It’s very Bradbury, and certainly stays with you long after the end credits roll.

Year: 1983

Availability: US – DVD and Blu Ray, Europe – DVD, UK – not commercially available

HWBW rating: 8/10 

Have You Been Watching...? The Terror: Infamy

 

Have You Been Watching…? The Terror: Infamy

The Terror is an American anthology series, where each season is a self-contained tale. Each has it’s own cast, storyline, beginning, middle and end with no threads run through tying them all together. “Infamy” is the second series of The Terror. I was not enticed by the plot of series 1, two ships stuck in the ice between 1845-1848, based on the true story of Captain Sir John Franklin’s “lost expedition” to the Arctic. This second series appealed much more, due to its Japanese horror influence (The original Ring movie is one of my all time favourites).

Infamy is historical again, but this time set in the second world war, days before the Pearl Harbour attack. The historical side of the series shows a side of American history I was previously not aware of but makes it all the more horrific and not just in the supernatural way.

The cast of the 10 part epic includes scifi stalwarts such as George Takei (Star Trek), Hiro Kanagawa (Star Trek Discovery, iZombie, Man in the High Castle), C Thomas Howell (with a strong of genre credits to his name!) and Naoko Mori (Torchwood & Dr Who) and relates the story of the Nakayama family, just prior to and immediately after the Pearl Harbour attack in 1941. Following the attack, the American authorities round-up any Japanese person, families, children and all, and intern them in prison camps. Our main protagonist is budding photo-journalist Chester Nakayama, an American born to Japanese parents. It IS important to recognise that given what happens to the family as the series progresses. In the midst of these human rights tragedies comes a spectre from Japanese folklore, terrorising the Japanese community and taking a particular interest in Chester. Our protagonist is played by Derek Mio, whose credits include the movie GBF, Gay Best Friend. He is great as Chester, conveying the despair, devotion, helplessness and heroism. He is very much the backbone of the series and he carries it well.

The series begins with a suicide and continues in a slow build up from there as events overtake the family. As the story progresses, the gore does increase, so be warned! It might be slow paced, but believe me, every second is watchable, both for the antics of the spirit, and the behaviours of the authorities toward innocent people who have done nothing wrong, other than be from, or born to, a different race. “Any drop of Japanese blood” is a phrase used within the series. Historically, some 120,000 people of Japanese descent were imprisoned in these camps with about two thirds of them being actual American citizens. You will have to forgive my accuracy with these facts as I said previously, this phase of American history is new to me, and I gleaned this info from the world wide web, so it’s open to debate. Either way, it happened, and it is still horrific.

The series is very much a jigsaw puzzle and as the pieces start to fall into place, it all begins to make sense. This is one of those series that the ending doesn’t disappoint. In fact, there’s very little about The Terror: Infamy that disappointed at all. We begin to see everything come together the same time Chester does, so we don’t skip ahead, and the series works better because of this. Also, stay with the end credits, you won’t regret it.

Fans of The Terror will no doubt already know that it is executively produced by none other than Ridley Scott and it shows. The cinematography and settings are wonderfully realised, be it the grit of a prison camp or a period fishing village. I won’t say too much more as I don’t want to spoil things, but it is as great to look at as it is horrific.

You might not want to watch this in a dark room on your own, but if you do have the time, you might want to consider investing it in The Terror: Infamy, especially if you are as fan of Japanese horror.

Year: 2019

Episode count: 10

Season count: 1

Availability: Currently free to stream on BBCiplayer (as of July 2022).

Have You Been Watching...? The Nightmare Man

I’d heard of the Nightmare Man many times before, from friends who are much more versed in Telefantasy than I am, so after finally getting a good deal on a second-hand DVD, I settled down to watch it and see what all the fuss was about.

So what did I think of it? Well, I could tell you, but I’d rather you read all the other stuff I’m writing about it too, so either wait ‘til the end, or scroll down to it.

The Nightmare Man is a 4 part thriller from the BBC broadcast in 1981 on Friday nights. I say “thriller” but to say more would be a spoiler. Oh go on, then. The series covers a variety of genres in one, from thriller, to cold war shenanigans and horror to science-fiction. It’s based on the novel “Child of Vodyanoi” by David Wiltshire and released in 1978 but it was adapted for television by Dr Who legend Robert Holmes. Indeed the serial’s connections to Dr Who are broad: In front of the camera, we have an early turn from National Treasure Celie Imrie (The Bells of St John), James Warwick (Earthshock), Maurice Roeves (Caves of Androzani), Tony Sibbald (Terror of the Zygons), Jonathan Newth (Underworld), Tom Watson (The Underwater Menace), Jeff Stewart (Kinda) and Pat Gorman (too numerous to mention).Of course you’ll recognise a number of these from other shows too, like Jeff Stewart in The Bill as Reg Hollis). Dr Who links behind the camera, besides Holmes, include Director Douglas Camefield, Producer Ron Craddock worked on the series in 1964 as production assistant, make-up artist Fran Needham, and assistant floor manager David Tilley. I’m sure there’s more. The series was once described to me like a Dr Who adventure without the Doctor, and it’s probably true. I should also add, that even though there’s a lot of Dr Who talent on screen, there’s also some non-Who talent, including Game of Thrones’ James Cosmo and Bread’s Ronald Forfar.

The series begins with a murder on a remote Scottish island, and the subsequent investigation by the local police, a dentist that assists them (yes, indeed we don’t have enough Dentistry heroes on TV) and a rather mysterious Army colonel. Celia Imrie plays Fiona Patterson, who just happens to be the island’s go-to person for literally everything. Maurice Roeves plays Inspector Inskip of the local police, and is absolutely wonderful on screen, stealing every scene he is in, bringing a necessary groundness to the bizarre goings-on.

As the gruesome murders continue, and a strange craft is located, the islanders begin to realise the murderer might not be one of our own species, let alone one of their own community.

The series was also filmed using outside broadcast equipment, which gives the series a unique “look” to it that contemporary programmes lacked. This does help with the atmosphere of the story. The murderer’s reveal is slow, and we don’t see much of the murder at all until later in the run, the only times we do, is from a red screen point of view as the murderer conducts their deeds.

I didn’t see The Nightmare Man on it’s first transmission, and I hadn’t heard of the Child of Vodyanoi novel, so I was pleasantly going into the with no pre-conceptions. I watched part one on a Saturday and binged the rest over the same weekend. With the episodes being nice 30min chunks, it made it much easier as there’s only 4 of them. For only a 2 hour run time, though, I wouldn’t watch one after the other. Take a break between each and savour those cliffhangers!  I watched this on the BBC DVD edition of the story, which is quite difficult to track down these days. It was released in 2005, so may be out of print now, although it can be located on various internet sites for inflated costs, so shop around.

Overall, I did enjoy this. It’s a product of its time, but on the whole, it stands up well today. At the time of writing this though, some of the plot threads are remarkably current!

Year – 1981

Series count – 1

Episode count – 4

Availability – DVD (if you can find it)