Have You Been Watching...? Mork & Mindy: Dr. Morkenstein (1979)

 

Mork and Mindy is one of a number of spin-offs from the hugely successful American situation comedy series “Happy Days”. The eponymous “Mork” appeared in a dream sequence in one of the former’s episodes and was such a hit, the dream sequence was ret-conned in the pilot episode, making Mork a 100% real character in the Happy Days Universe. I LOVED Mork and Mindy when I was little. It was silly, it was bright and colourful (not just Robin Williams' outfits) and it was a lovely programme to sit down and watch. Now that I’m older and more cynical, does it still hold that magic? A lot of it does, and it’s down to the performances of the two principal actors.

The series ran for 4 seasons from 1978-1981, and marked the debut of global mega-star-to-be Robin Williams as Mork, an alien from the planet Ork, sent to observe Mankind on Earth. While on Earth, he meets young, single gal-about-town Mindy McConnell, played by Pam Dawber. Mork then moves in with her and learns about humanity while developing a sweet romance with Mindy. While it’s another variation of the “fish out of water” set up, similar to ALF, Small Wonder and numerous others, the series was a huge hit with audiences but by the end of season 1, the studio made changes to the format. By the time "Dr Morkenstein" comes around, gone is the whimsical theme tune, replaced by a “with it” disco version, gone are Mindy’s dad and maternal Grandmother, replaced by young brother and sister duo Remo and Jeannie DaVinci, who run their new hangout: The New York Deli, replacing the old music shop from series 1.

The show “feels” different now, younger and sillier, but this episode (only the fifth in the second series) reminds us that it can still grab our heart-strings when needed. The episode has a lot for fans of cult TV and movies: Chuck the robot in the episode is Robbie The Robot from the Forbidden Planet movie and cameos in Gremlins etc. The voice of Chuck is that of Roddie McDowell, well known for the Planet of the Apes movies.

Mork gets himself a job in a science museum as a night watchman. Bored, he tinkers around with one of the exhibits, an old robot, and gives it a consciousness. Mork bonds with the robot, now called Chuck, as the robot wants to explore more of being human and what life is like. Liberating itself from the museum one Friday night, he turns up at Mork and Mindy’s apartment, much to Mindy’s horror. However, Mork pleads for the robot, who starts to display concerning traits, like forgetting what he was saying and getting facts wrong. The old robot confirms he is suffering from metal fatigue, and there’s nothing anyone can do.

Trying to give him more insight to people and the human experience, Mork takes Chuck to the deli, but the robot begins randomly insulting people, and getting sums wrong causing some unrest with the customers. Trying to usher him out, Mork pleads there’s nothing wrong with Chuck.

Mindy and Mork take Chuck back to the museum, but Mindy realises the old robot is wearing down. Mork is devastated and doesn’t want it to end this way for Chuck. He tries to set Chuck back to the way he was, but Chuck pleads with him to keep his as he is. He wants to be “human”, the end comes with the territory.  Chuck values his friendship with Mork and values that he gave him life. He wants to feel the end of it and appreciates the chance to die with dignity. Wanting to play one last game of “I-spy”, Chuck begins to die in Mork’s arms.

Mork’s pain is clear to see and he cries, his face scrunched up in agony. In the episode’s epilogue, Mork sends his usual mental update to his superior on Ork, a being called “Orson”. Referring to the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, Mork relates his friendship with Chuck to Orson. Orson asks if he can make another. Mork realises he can but hasn’t the heart for it. He breaks down as he relates the death to Orson and the importance of creating something and watching it grow and develop. He will always keep Chuck in his heart. Unusually for the show, Mork doesn’t bow with his farewell to Orson or end it with a quip at Orson’s expense, but it fades out with a tear streaming down his face. In fact the jump to the end credits with it’s jaunty disco theme sits very out of place.

While the episode is called Dr Morkenstein and it’s influence from the story of Frankenstein is battered into the viewer, it can also be seen as a reflection of a friendship between a young person and an older person as the older succumbs to age. Pam Dawber’s lovely Mindy takes more of a back seat in this episode, but her concern and love for Mork shows as she remains just out of his sight, as Chuck passes so she can be there with him in his distress. Remo and Jeanie barely feature, and other new series regulars Mr Bickley (played by Tom Poston) and Mindy’s cousin Nelson Flavour (played by Jim Staahl) don’t even appear in this one.

Mork is such a childlike being, who views our world with wonder and bewilderment, and never a thought to harm anyone. To see him in tears at the loss of his friend, however brief that friendship was, is utterly heart-breaking. While the “new” series is taking a while to get used to, this smaller, emotional episode brings us back to the more innocent days of series 1. Whatever your thoughts on the quality of episodes as the series makes its way through its four seasons and strange production decisions, this episode stands head and shoulders among the series’ greatest. It also stands as a reminder just how much the world misses Robin Williams.

Year – 1978

Series count – 4

Episode count – 91 (some double episodes as screened were later split into individual episodes)

Availability – DVD boxset of all 4 seasons (individual season are available in some areas)

Have You Been Watching...? Threads (1984)

 

At the time of writing, the world seems all doom and gloom. We are still in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic, monkey pox is on the rise, Russia went to war with Ukraine, the costs of living and energy are continually on the rise, life is gloomy and scary, so of COURSE it’s the best time to watch 1984’s nuclear holocaust drama Threads.

First broadcast on Sunday 23^rd September 1984 at 9.30pm, it was compared with The Day After, an American TV Movie from 1983 along similar themes. That’s really where the similarities end. While The Day After is unashamedly American, Threads is unashamedly British. This means grit, drama and a bit more working class. While not particularly gory, Threads is much more horrific than The Day After.

Threads did not cast major stars in it’s main roles, but some are recognisable. Reece Dinsdale (from Home To Roost and many other now well known dramas) stars as Jimmy Kemp, one of the main leads. David Brierley (known to Dr Who fans as the second actor to voice robot dog K9) stars as Jimmy’s dad Bill Kemp. TV presenter and Adventure Game “mole” Lesley Judd appeared as the newsreader.

I won’t go into the plot too much as there’s so much more in the film to see. The film tells the story of Jimmy Kemp and his girlfriend Ruth Bennett, who live in the city of Sheffield. Ruth discovers she is pregnant and she and Jimmy plan to marry, much to the concern of both sets of parents. As the soap opera elements of our story unfold, in the background, in heard radio reports and TV newscasts, slowly a war begins in eastern Europe. Most of this of course, bypasses our two families who are much more consumed in their own affairs, much like any other family. As time progresses, we see the rest of the country HAS been paying attention. As the Kemps and Bennetts try to get to grips with what’s going on in the world, they face panic buying and looting. As the warnings loom in the media, they begin to make preparations for Worst Case Scenario. Nothing prepares them for what’s to come. As tensions rise in the east, nuclear weapons begin to be deployed. One eventually targets an RAF base outside of Sheffield, and Jimmy observes the tell-tale mushroom cloud of a nuclear explosion. Sheffield is destroyed. People die in their millions due to fallout and nuclear winter, as the sun is obscured by dust and debris in the atmosphere. Temperatures plummet. Money has no value, only food. As time goes on, The Kemps and Bennetts perish like most others, except for Ruth, and she becomes the focus of the story and the horror of nuclear winter unfolds. She gives birth to her child, a daughter she calls Jane, in a dirty outbuilding as a tied up Alsatian dog watches on. She must bite through the umbilical cord as there’s no one to help. Ruth story continues, as she must toil in fields for food. She survives. As the years progress, Ruth eventually perishes when Jane is 10. Jane barely notices. Jane then continues to scrabble and scrounge to exist, joining a pair of lads, one of whom get shot as they steal. Jane and remaining lad end up sleeping together. The movie ends months later, as Jane gives birth to her own child, and looks in horror at the baby.

Threads is really unlike anything I’ve seen before. It’s rarely repeated (I recorded it from only its THIRD showing on British TV in 2003, thank you BBC4). It apparently has only been shown twice since then. Threads is relentless. There’s no holding back on what this film shows you. The film’s format makes this easier to digest. It has a “docu-drama” feel to it, with narrator and captions explaining what goes on, providing information and statistics before cutting back to the drama. We see people die by the bucketload. We see minor characters in local councils suddenly burdened with a responsibility they are way too out of their depth to manage. We see people trying to do their best in hopeless situations. Shot on film, it gives the movie that extra grittiness and realism which only adds to the soul crushing despair.

Threads has been described as one of the most terrifying movies ever made, and it’s hard to disagree. The use of working class people and their day to day problems as the device to bring the viewer in, is a masterstroke of genius. It makes the whole movie relatable and terrifying. We can image these people being US, our families, our friends. Going to our job in the morning and the world going to hell by teatime.  What would WE do? More importantly, if we were to survive such an attack, would we WANT to? Is the story of Ruth and the survivors better than death? Legend has it that US President Ronald Reagan changed his nuclear policy in 1985 having watched Threads.

Overall, it’s an excellent movie, a thought-provoking and downright terrifying tale. Of note, there have been several home media releases for this, but if you seek one out to watch, go for the Simply Media blu-ray, which besides looking magnificent (increasing that grittiness) it also has a number of special features (including a director approved widescreen edition and a commentary from director Mick Jackson) and the original soundtrack.

YEAR: 1984

Availability: DVD and Blu Ray (updated 20^th August 2022 – now available to stream on Britbox)

HYBW rating: 9/10

Have You Been Watching...? King Of The Castle (1977)

 

I love 1970s telefantasy. I love that TV producers took risks, that they aimed so high with their aspirations and that only budgets stood in their way. It’s something we don’t see enough of in the 21^st century, I think. These days it’s all about ratings and playing it safe.

So, what can I tell you about King of the Castle? It was a children’s telefantasy series broadcast between 8^th May 1977 and 19^th June 1977, running for 7 episodes. It’s a stand-alone series, in that there was no series 2, or sequel, or spin-off. It was broadcast in colour by Harlech Television (I have no idea what their commissioning team were on, but HTV produced some amazing programmes for children in its day).  As seems to be the norm for this era, the series doesn’t fully exist in the archives in its entirety and the lost episode 3 is recovered from a VHS recording. I viewed this on the official Network DVD release and the quality isn’t bad at all.

King of the Castle was created and written by Bob Baker and Dave Martin, who also wrote the other telefantasy series “Sky” (more of that in a future instalment of this blog) but are probably better known for writing several Doctor Who serials and introducing the world to K-9, the Doctor’s robot dog. The series tells the story of Roland, played by Philip DaCosta, a young chorister who has recently moved into a block of flats, with his dad and stepmother. He finds himself the victim of the bullies who roam the building. On one occasion, he tries to get away from them by entering an elevator, but it breaks, and plummets down the shaft.

While the police and maintenance staff try to rescue him, Roland enters a bizarre and twisted version of the world above, resulting in a surreal series of escapades as he tries to find his way out of the strange world he finds himself in, and back to the block of flats as he knows it.

The strange world is populated by twisted versions of people he knows in the real world, meaning the cast play dual roles. The cast includes numerous well-known names like Milton Johns (sci-fi fans will recognise him from The Empire Strikes Back and a variety of Doctor Who tales), Fulton Mackay (Officer Mackay in Porridge alongside Ronnie Barker) and Talfryn Thomas (whom I recognised as Tom Price in the BBC 1970s apocalyptic series Survivors).

Each episode runs for an easily manageable 25 mins (apx), and Roland’s escapades include meeting a Frankenstein’s Monster-esque creature, a woman in red who creepily tries to seduce him (the alternative character to his step-mum played by Angela Richards!) and a samurai-type warrior played by Jamie Foreman, the alternative character to the main bully called “Ripper”. Talfryn Thomas plays a creepy guide through this strange world, and whose motives are unclear resulting in Roland’s uncertainty whether he should trust him or not.

Now I will be honest, 7 episodes may be too many and I found the series flagging around episode 4. Stick with it, however, as episode 6 turns things around with something I certainly did NOT see coming, leading nicely into its finale. Applying modern sensitivities to a series made 45 years ago is always a problem, but very hard to avoid. Certainly, an element of the finale does not sit comfortably today.

The series seems to be a spiritual predecessor to those 80s T Bag adventures, studio bound surreal adventures with limited special effects, but King of the Castle is certainly much darker than T Bags and T shirts would ever be. It also spends a long time leaving the viewer wondering if Roland is dead in real life and this is all in his head. The “real world” characters spend an inordinately long time trying to get to the lift and rescue him, but he doesn’t reply to their calls.  There is a reason for this, but you will be guessing for a while.

 

One of the things I quite disliked about the series is the opening theme tune. It’s a choral version of the old King of the Castle rhyme. I suppose it does add to the atmosphere of the show, but I find it unsettling! Therefore, I suppose, its objective is achieved!

Overall, of course it’s a low budget kids show from the seventies, and it’s very much a product of it’s time.  Could it have done with an episode or two cut? Maybe. Is it enjoyable? Very much so. Fulton Mackay and Talfryn Thomas are great in it, as is Philip DaCosta. Milton Johns is very much underused. My favourite character in it is the father, played by Sean Lynch. He’s just great to watch and it with great sadness I read he passed away in 1979, only two years after this programme.

Year: 1977

Series count: 1

Episode count: 7

Availability: DVD

Have You Been Watching...? The Stairs (2021)

 

I like to keep things positive, as best I can, in these little reviews of mine. When I hear of a film with such a unique premise as The Stairs, my curiosity is piqued and the concept was thrilling. What could possibly go wrong? This. This film is what could go wrong.

Based on an apparently strange American phenomenon, the film’s title is wearing its concept on its sleeve. There have been alleged cases of people finding random staircases in places across America. They don’t lead anywhere. They just appear to exist. Various websites report their supernatural origin, but this movie takes things in another direction. This time folks, spoilers aplenty to come. I’ve seen it, so you don’t have to.

On the face of it, the film has good things going for it. Headline cast includes Kathleen Quinlan (moviegoers may remember her from Apollo 13 and The Twilight Zone Movie) and John Schneider (from Smallville and Dukes of Hazzard). However, failing to make use of their headline stars, or budget restraints, means that the pair barely feature in the movie at all. It’s left to Brent Bailey (who has appeared in episodes of Doom Patrol and Agents of SHIELD), Adam Corson (Lucifer and Twilight Zone 2010 episodes), Josh Crotty, Trin Miller and Stacey Oristano to carry the tale. As an ensemble they’re not too bad portraying the roles they’ve been given. It’s just unfortunate they have been given the roles they’ve been given as they are bland 2-dimensional and extremely unlikeable. There’s no protagonist in the movie that you WANT to root for, to hope they see the end credits.

So the plot goes, John Schneider and his young grandson go into the woods to hunt deer. There (whatever your thought’s are on the subject) goes any sympathy for either of them. Grandson get separated from Grandpops, and finds a stairway in the woods, leading nowhere, they are just there. Complete with dangling chandeliers too! Grandson finds what appears (off-screen) to be some kid of pet he wants to like, but gets dragged in to the under stairs doorway, swiftly followed by Grandpops who tries to save him. Then the set of stairs, the title of the movie, the reason one wants to see it, disappears for most of the rest of the movie.

Enter a group of young people hiking and camping. The two lead men are brothers and stop by a shop where there red-herrings galore (posters indicate bigfoot etc as if to lead you that’s what the film is about). They then meet up with the rest of their unlikeable friends. As they progress into the woods, the film begins to serve some decent creepiness as they have supernatural encounters, including a zombie -type woman and a man who has half his head blown off (yes, indeed!).  The movies then descends into “there’s a monster in the woods picking them off one-by-one” territory. By now, I don’t care who makes it to the end as there appears to be no end to the bad decisions this group of people, who should know better, will make. Clearly the writer write these bad decisions to put them in various places for, y’know, plot.

The stairs do eventually reappear, and our “heroes” venture within the door, finding a kind of factory, with pipes, boilers dark shadows etc, and a young boy. Yes, grandson has survived! Brother 2 gets the boy out, but brother 1 succumbs to the monster, which reminds me of the fluke-man from an early X Files episode.

Plot goes on, but then reveals brother 2 is the friend of Grandson and 20 years have passed for brother 2 and nothing at all for grandson! Grandson has been missing for 20 years to everyone else. Anyway, eventually plot ends (I won’t spoil everything) And Brother 2 and Grandson survive, who them meets his gran and mum. All the others are dead.

Then the feds turn up, and everything we have seen before…becomes a comedy! I swear those last few scenes with the feds are comical and I think they’re SUPPOSED to be.

What is it about? Who knows? What’s the point of the stairs? It’s never discussed, revealed or anything. What’s under the stairs? It is aliens? Time travel? What’s going on? What has the presence of the stairs got to do with any of the other spooky goings on? You will never KNOW! I don’t mind movies letting you draw your own conclusions with things, but this movie literally gives you NOTHING. You put the movie on, you watch it, it ends. Your life or knowledge is none-the-better for the experience. All that is left is the rage that you could have done something more productive with your time.

So overall, unless I get a time machine, I will never get the 90+ minutes of my life back that I wasted watching this. It’s not all bad of course, some of the creepy moments in the woods really are the stuff of nightmares but ruined by the decisions the friends make around those moments. It’s a hotch-potch of ideas. Peter “Drago” Tiemann has a lot to answer for (credits show he directed, co-produced, co-wrote, came up with the concept, co-ordinated stunts, was post-production supervisor and was “body burn” whatever that is.) Maybe another pair of eyes over the script, and production may have helped. It’s a shame because there is a good movie in there. It might have even worked with 30 mins or so shaved off it. Everyone works so hard, and the movie looks so good, it’s just a shame it’s let down by the source material.

So, if you are bored of an evening, with nothing to do, it’s raining outside and nothing on the telly. Go read a book or something. Wash the dishes. Anything. Save yourselves. Just don’t invest your time in this.

Year – 2021

Availability – Amazon Prime (at time of writing. Various language and subtitle options)

HYBW movie rating – 3/10 (hey, people worked hard on this, I’m not giving it NOTHING, it has a few redeeming features)