Have You Been Watching...? We Have A Ghost (2023)

 

I’d seen some of the pre-publicity for the Netflix original movie “We Have A Ghost” and it certainly contained enough to warrant inclusion on this blog. A family comedy about a ghost haunting a house? Absolutely! A cast full of cult TV & Movie stars? YES!  It stars genre icons David Harbour (Stranger Things, Black Widow, Hellboy), Tig Notaro (Star Trek: Discovery, Army of the Dead) and Anthony Mackie (Marvel Cinematic Universe as The Falcon). Is it the winner I think it should be? Read on…

Besides the big names, this comedy also stars Jahi Di’Allo Winston as the movies main character Kevin (also from the rather poor genre movie The Dead Don’t Die with Adam Driver and Bill Murray) and Erica Ash (Kendra from Scary Movie 5).

Our plot is that The Presley family, of whom Ash and Mackie portray the parents and Winston as their son (the other brother played by Niles Fitch whose credits include St Vincent – again with Bill Murray) who all move into what can only be described as a “fixer-upper” of a house. Kevin, a bit of a loner, finds a ghost in the attic. The ghost, portrayed by Harbour, can’t speak but his bowling shirt bears the name “Ernest” and despite trying to scare Kevin, the ghost and the boy become friends. Once Kevin’s brother and father find out about Ernest, they start posting videos online and the family, via Ernest, become internet sensations. This draws the attention of Dr Monroe, who once worked for a now-defunct government department researching ghosts. This further leads to more young teen movie escapades as Kevin and best friend Joy (Isabella Russo) try to explore Ernest’s history and resolve his issues so he can move on.

I will TRY not to spoil things here, but I’m putting a spoiler warning anyway as it’s going to be difficult in a movie like this.

Harbour is nothing short of brilliant in a role that brings him very close to Nicolas Cage in a certain category (you will understand this if you have ever seen Willy’s Wonderland* or see the very bottom of this review), how he manages to convey so much with so little really shows he is way more than just Sheriff Hopper. The always wonderful-to-watch Tig Notaro plays quite an important role in this movie, but once she fulfils her role’s purpose, it’s a shame she just disappears from the movie, after a rather startling change in character. Anthony Mackie, unfortunately, plays a generic dad character and doesn’t get much of a chance to shine. However, Winston is absolutely endearing, bringing a genuine vulnerability to Kevin. The always watchable Jennifer Coolidge makes a brief appearance as a medium and she steals all the scenes she appears in.

So, those are the plusses. As with a lot of Netflix movies recently, there are a bunch of negatives to go with the positives. In this case, the movie is far too long. Running at 127 minutes, there are huge chunks of this movie that can easily be excised (pun intended) and still tell a coherent story. Most obviously, to me, is the rather uncomfortable Motel scene, which bearing in mind we are watching children, is creepy and not in the spooky way. The whole Government Department material brings nothing to the story other than give our heroes something to do and what happens to Tig Notaro’s character is a total travesty. There is also one other scene involving out heroes in a car chase with the police that sits awkwardly too. The scene shows the clear death of one of the police, caused by our heroes, but then next scene shows the officer up and about. Maybe I’m nit-picking but there is no way that character walked away from that incident(or maybe they didn’t and that last shot of them is their ghost?). As a writer of a certain age, I found the Social Media section a bit boring and unrealistic. If there really was evidence of ghosts, I think it'd draw more attention that a few fans and a solo department from the government (although the "Jesus" moments ARE hilarious!)

Apparently, the film is based on a short story called “Ernest” by Geoff Manaugh. I haven’t read it so I have no idea what the movie does differently.

As it stands, the movie is “okay”, but if it had been tightened up, maybe by 30 minutes or so, it could have been great. It is frustrating that such an opportunity is wasted. You would not regret spending time in watching this movie, but you may feel that you could’ve done something more constructive in the time.

Year: 2023

Availability: currently streaming on Netflix (as of Feb 2023)

HYBW rating: 6/10               

 

*The Willy’s Wonderland reference: Both Nic Cage and David Harbour don’t speak in either movie. Although Harbour does make moaning noises in this one.

Have You Been Watching...? Nolly

 

Once upon a time, in the history of British TV, there once existed a cheaply made (but insanely popular) soap opera set in a Motel in Birmingham. “Crossroads”, as it was called, ran from 1964-1988. It was so cheaply made, it inspired the Victoria Wood spoof serial “Acorn Antiques”. One of the main draws of the series was its lead actress, Noele “Nolly” Gordon, who portrayed the formidable Motel owner Meg Mortimer (or Richardson, or Ryder, depending on when you watched it).

Noele is a name most might not recognise, but in the days of Crossroads, there would have been very few who didn’t know who she was. Noele was the first woman on Colour TV during transmissions by John Logie Baird. She was also an accomplished TV presenter, having her own show and being the first woman to interview a Prime Minister, Harold Macmillan. The part of Meg in Crossroads was apparently written with Noele in mind for it, and she was so popular, she won the TV Times “Most Popular Actress” award a staggering 8 times.

Writer Russell T Davies (It’s a Sin, Dr Who, Queer As Folk, Years & Years) writes this 3 part mini-series which takes place in the later years of Noele’s life (although there are flashbacks to younger days). Noele is brought to colourful life by Helena Bonham-Carter. The decision to base this drama in this part of Noele’s life is a masterstroke, seeing her deal with the biggest crisis of her career. The drama paints Noele as a kind, caring and relatable lead actress, caring for and loved by her fellow cast and crew. In 1981, Noele is unceremoniously sacked from Crossroads after 17 years. As she tries to find out why, her friends and co-stars rally around to make sense of it all. Antonia Benarth plays Noele’s screen daughter Jane Rossington (Jill Richardson/Harvey/Chance in Crossroads), and Augustus Prew plays Tony Adams (Adam Chance in Crossroads) who totally steals the show for me. He’s wonderful to watch and totally devoted to his Noele “Miss Gordon” and their friendship is one the most touching and endearing aspects of the programme. Con O’Neill (Chernobyl, Our Flag Means Death) plays Jack Barton, who brings about Noele’s downfall. Honorable mention must go to Mark Gatiss, who brilliantly plays 80's icon of light entertainment Larry Grayson.

My only exposure to Crossroads was the short lived 2003 revival. However, my interest in TV meant I had an idea who most of the players were. I knew OF Noele Gordon and the fact she had been dismissed. My Grannie loved Crossroads when I was little. Most of this drama was new to me.

Helena Bonham-Carter is magnificent as Nolly. I don’t think there’s any other words for it. She portrays Noele as cheeky, tender and genuine, and with a hint of melancholy. If the real Nolly was half the person Helena plays her as, I think she’d have been an amazing woman. Russell T Davies provides us with a script that is tragic, hilarious, down-to-earth and utterly engrossing. I binged the series over 3 nights, I would’ve watched it all in one go if I hadn’t controlled myself. Another truly brilliant show from the mighty RTD.

Production-wise, it’s top notch. Right down to the recreation of the sets and the re-filmed “segments” as they’d have appeared on screen. The show really is an enjoyable experience and if you do delve into it, don’t take your eyes off it. Especially towards the end. If you are a fan of the original Crossroads, you will know what I mean. This is definitely worth investing your time in.

 

Year – 2023

Seasons – 1

Episodes – 3

Availability – currently streaming on ITVx

Have You Been Watching...? Moonfall (2022)

Have you been watching…? Moonfall

There’s nothing quite like an apocalypse movie. The spectacle of life as we know it coming to an end. It’s even better when it is some kind of natural catastrophe, so it is with this in mind, I watched Moonfall, directed by epic disaster movie director Roland Emmerich (Independence Day).

The movie features horror franchise “The Conjuring” star Patrick Wilson as disgraced astronaut Brian Harper, Oscar-winner Halle Berry as astronaut Jo Fowler and Game of Thrones star John Bradley as conspiracy theorist K.C. Houseman. Michael Pena appears as Harper’s ex-wife’s new beau, and cinema legend Donald Sutherland appears as “Holdenfield”, although this is nothing more than a cameo.

The plot, well it’s exactly what it says on the tin. The moon begins to fall towards earth. How this set of circumstances occurs is a conspiracy theorist's dream. I won’t spoil it, but it’s not the natural disaster we think it is. As if the notion of the moon falling to earth isn’t enough, the plot is filled with padding and melodrama, relegating the spectacle of what’s happening to second place for most of the first half of the movie. There are lots of set-pieces, but none of them seem to hold any real danger. We don’t really see the impact of these spectacular disaster’s impacts on ordinary people (never mind our main cast!) Sadly, the CGI isn’t great either. For example, the tide and sea levels rise in one scene, clearly killing goodness knows how many people, but our cast move up to the upper floors of the hotel they are in and have a good night’s sleep in the rooms, barely acknowledging the sheer scale of death and disaster around them. When the movie shifts into it’s second half, the plot just gets worse.

I can forgive not concentrating on the death and destruction around them as long as the film has a sense of fun about it, but this doesn’t even have THAT. It’s a mish mash of ideas, thrust together. Bradley steals the show as Houseman and is sometimes the sole beacon of light in most scenes he is in. Pena is great playing a character that I think the audience is not supposed to like, but is quite endearing and one of the best characters in it, making his story arc’s resolution all the more heartbreaking.

Overall, I wanted to LOVE this movie. It should have been brilliant. The script could probably have done with a few more passes, and I’d have happily lost 30 mins or so in exchange for a couple of truly GREAT sequences. I feel the movie is a missed opportunity and a huge disappointment. I’ve since read it was a box-office flop when it came out and gets mixed to negative reviews, and I’m afraid I have to agree with that. I hate to be so down on people’s hard work but I can’t imagine what possessed anyone involved to have wanted to participate. Unless it was like I thought: the premise sounded great, until they saw the script and by then the ink was dry on the contract….. 

Emmerich has made some GREAT movies, and while they all don’t make the best scientific sense, they contain a great sense of adventure and fun, like Independence Day, Stargate, 2012, the Day After Tomorrow, even Godzilla. Sadly, Moonfall falls into the same category as Independence Day: Resurgence...just BAD

Year – 2022

Availability – currently streaming on Amazon Prime

HYBW rating –  3/10