Have You Been Watching...? Rebel Moon - Part 1: A Child Of Fire (2023)

 

On a recent flight, I'd read in a magazine that writer and director Zack Snyder (Justice League) had pitched the idea of his Rebel Moon movies as “Game of Thrones in Space”. Now, I quite liked Game of Thrones, but the idea of investing so much time into another franchise didn’t appeal, but I’ve liked his other work and wanted to give this new Sci-Fi adventure a go. The script for the movie was co-written by Snyder with Kurt Johnstad ("300") and Shay Hatten (Army of the Dead, John Wick 3) and directed by Snyder. 

As it’s a relatively new movie so I will try not to be too spoiler-ific.

Our story opens with a narration explaining how there is a Motherworld, and when it’s King and Queen are assassinated, a prince regent steals the throne while everyone else is bickering. A revolution begins, and the empire (oops!) tries to stamp it out. Our story then moves to a small farming village on the planet Veldt. It is visited by a group from the Empire in their Dreadnaught ship The Kings Gaze, under the command of General Atticus Noble (Ed Skrein from Deadpool and Tau) wanting grain to feed their army as they hunt the revolutionaries. One thing leads to another and our hero, Kora (Sofia Boutella from Kingsman The Secret Service and Star Trek Beyond) who is secretly an ex-member of the empire, sets off to create an army capable of protecting the village from the Empire.

It's very much a space saga, but Game of Thrones it is not. In fact, plot wise, it’s less Star Wars and more Battle Beyond The Stars. I fail to understand why a Dreadnaught ship arrives and threatens a simple village, when there is a whole city called Providence on Veldt which would make more sense. Despite all the tech on show in the movie, everyone and everything is dirty. There are no bright whites and sleek lines in this universe. Even Star Wars had a mixture of the two, but by the end of this one, I’m fed up of the dirt and grime.

Much must be said of the universe building in this movie. Great strides are made with diversity and a mix of accents giving real credence to different cultures, although the less said of Charlie Hunnam’s (as Kai) dreadful Northern Irish accent. I can't understand why he didn’t just use his natural Geordie accent.

Kora's ragtag bunch of revolutionaries are gathered together much too quickly and with little backstory provided to any, it’s hard to feel anything for them. The only characters that feel developed with genuine motivation are Kora and Noble, and bizarrely, Kora’s fellow villager Gunnar (Michiel Huisman from World War Z and the Haunting of Hill House). The others just feel like they’re along for the ride and each are introduced in various little scenarios. Some of these don’t even make a lot of sense, particularly Tarak (Staz Nair from Game of Thrones and Supergirl), he has a special ability, but I had to go online to understand why this was a thing in the movie. Maybe it’ll be apparent in part two. Given the clear drive to be a new Star Wars type saga, the lack of a robot crewmember is apparent, especially as a prime candidate “Jimmy” is introduced early on, voice by Oscar winner Anthony Hopkins. Other unanswered questions include why they think a small army can take on the dreadnaught ship? Even if they did win, they’re fighting an empire who would just send another.

Unfortunately, it’s so formulaic that it feels like there is nothing new here. Yes, it’s nice to see a new Sci Fi big budget movie, but it just makes me want to watch Star Wars. Maybe things will change in Part 2, but this leads to another disappointment. We know from the outset that this is part one, so we expect a cliffhanger and plots not to be resolved by the end. This robs the viewer of any sense of peril for our band of heroes.

Further reading indicates there will be more sequels. While the name Rebel Moon sounds cool, what happens after the moon is “liberated”? Will there be more moons to liberate? I think the beginnings of something good are here, but I wonder if it will become something more, with its own identity.

Snyder has also commented that there is a more adult orientated “R” rated extended version to come out later. This could be the road forward for this franchise. Even in its Netflix edited form, its hard to tell who the movie is aimed at. It’s too formulaic for discerning sci-fi fans and too adult for children (there is one particular scene where the baddies discussing deflowering a young woman which is unpleasant but definitely shows us how bad the baddies are, and there are moments of bad language).

Overall, the movie is not a bad watch and enjoyable enough as a yarn. I certainly want to see part two.

Year: 2023

Availability: Streaming on Netflix at the time of writing

Rating 7/10

Have You Been Watching...? Leave The World Behind (2023)

 

Leave The World Behind is a 2023 disaster movie from Netflix, with a “Big Name” cast including Oscar-winners Julia Roberts (Erin Brokovich, Pretty Woman) and Maherasha Ali (Moonlight, The 4400) and Oscar-Nominee Ethan Hawke (Gattaca, Boyhood, Training Day) and co-starring Myha’la (Bodies, Bodies, Bodies) and the legendary Kevin Bacon (Tremors, Footloose). It's based on a 2020 thriller novel by Rumaan Alam. As you will know by now, I do like my disaster movies, so this was a definite go-to upon release. The movie is already one of Netflix’s highest performers at the time of writing, but also one of the most controversial with a very low appreciation rating in review sites such as Rotten Tomatoes. Is it as bad as some people are saying? Can the movie live up to the hype? Read on, dear reader….

The plot begins straight-forwardly enough. Roberts and Hawke portray middle-aged married couple Amanda and Clay Sanford who, with their two children Rose and Archie, go on a spur-of-the-moment getaway to a rental house in Long Island, New York. The reason for this break isn’t really given, other than, as Amanda states before the titles, she hates people. Rose, the youngest of the two children, is addicted to the old 90s sitcom “Friends”, and this plays an unusually large role in the film so you know it’s going to mean something at some point. Archie is a stereotypical young teenage male with little time for his sibling. The house they stay in is a sleek, modern affair with a pool which backs onto woods populated by deer and conveniently near a beach. So far, so idyllic.

The family spend a nice day at the beach when a large oil tanker comes aground. Heading back to the house, they find the TV and wifi no longer work. With no internet, Rose is about to miss the series finale of Friends, which is distressing her, even thought its already older than she probably is. Matters get more complicated when a man claiming to be the house owner (Ali, playing George H Scott)) arrives with his daughter, wanting to stay the night as a blackout has caused getting to his own home more complicated. Amanda is instantly suspicious while Clay seems more accommodating. More layers are piled onto the plot as it begins to appear Amanda doesn’t like the Scotts as they are black. Is Amanda racist? It certainly adds an uncomfortable aspect to an already uncomfortable situation. Amanda later receives messages on her phone claiming hackers have caused the blackout but before she can tell anyone, the messages vanish. Seeking more information, George ventures to a friends house only to find the remains of a crashed aircraft and before his eyes, another plunges into the beach.

As more and more unsettling situations arise, relationships are formed and relationships are strained. Clues are found but there is doubt as to whether they can be relied upon. At times of extreme crisis, who can be trusted entirely?

This, then, leads to the controversial finale, which I will not spoil for you. The novel the movie is based on ends with the discovery of a bunker and some hope for the families. The movie’s ending has the “possibility” of similar hope, but the final moments allows the viewer to determine what is more important to whom? Is everyone able to sing off the same hymn sheet at such times? The viewer doesn’t receive all the answers and some is left to interpretation. This works for some movies and not so well for others. I feel the latter applies here. It’s a lengthy movie but to be rewarded with no definitive answer feels more like a cop-put than a planned ending. Sometimes, when I watch a movie, I want to see the story, not given about 98% and having to make the rest up myself. I watch movies and TV to be entertained.

The movie is NOT bad, it just doesn’t do enough to warrant a glowing review. The cast ARE great and immensely watchable. The direction is solid from Sam Esmail (although he did the screenplay too so can take some responsibility for naff ending). One of the major downsides to the movie is the overuse of pop music as at times, it feels like a non-stop pop video. This is mostly apparent at the beginning but calms down as the movie progresses.

With a run-time of 141 minutes, it doesn’t outstay it’s welcome and there is still plenty to entertain. However, with the absolute final moments, I can understand the poor reviews.

Year: 2023

Availability: Streaming on Netflix

Rating: 7/10

Have You Been Watching...? Aftershock

I came across Aftershock while rooting through a few streaming services looking for something I’d never seen before. Aftershock was described as “disaster horror” (not a category I’d come across) so thought I’d give it a try.

Set in Chile, the movie tells the tale of an American tourist called “Gringo” played by horror star Eli Roth. He is visiting his pal and that pal’s friends, one of whom is called “Pollo” (Spanish for Chicken). For the first 30 minutes of the film, I have to be honest, nothing happens. We get to see Gringo and his pals party, sightsee, get drunk, flirt (badly) and have a great time. We are further introduced to a group of girls also on holiday. One of whom is called Kylie. I find the cast difficult to write about as even by the end of the movie I still don’t know who they are. They have some soapy drama in the background about one of them not being able to drink alcohol, but then drinks anyway, to the chagrin of her sister. So far so boring.

Then, eventually, an earthquake hits. Spectacularly so. They’re in an underground disco, so bits of roof come down, equipment and running partygoers squash people. It’s all a bit grisly, especially when something happens to the only cast member who comes across as any way a "kind" human being. Even that takes a turn for the comedic and I found myself laughing during the chaos. Intentional or not on the part of the director, I don’t know, but it was VERY funny. Escaping the venue at the cost of another unimportant disposable castmember’s life in another example of hilarious death, I realise this is like watching disaster-porn. I’m watching it, eagerly awaiting the next horrid death in a comedy fashion. I don’t have to wait long. The earthquake scenes and falling building effects are very good indeed. As our group realise the peril they are in (there’s a tsunami coming, but they all seem to forget about that), things take a turn for the worse when a prison collapses and the prisoners escape. It’s around this point I realise I don’t care for what happens to this group. The movie shifts a gear into Mad Max/Escape from New York territory as the prisoners are ALL bad (m’kay). There’s a grim sequence set in a graveyard which reduces or cast further and is unnecessarily over-violent. It seems very clear the movie has no real plot and is just a series of “incidents” to either make you laugh out loud or grimace in disgust. Eventually the movie grinds to halt with one of the most pointless reveals ever. It literally just does NOT make any sense whatsoever.

Eli Roth has made a number of decent horror movies as director and producer, including Cabin Fever, and he co-wrote this endeavour. Unfortunately it is weak. Very weak. It has the look and feel of a cheap bargain basket DVD.

The movie DOES pick up after the earthquake hits, but by then I’m bored out of my mind and I contemplated switching it off several times, thinking I must have got it wrong. However, it becomes a generic runaround from "bad guys with no motives other than being bad" and instantly forgettable.

Year: 2012

Availability: Streaming on itvX at the time of writing.

Rating: 2/10

 

Have You Been Watching...? Star Wars: Obi Wan Kenobi

 

When Disney obtained the rights to Star Wars, the legendary sci-fi property that formed such a HUGE part of my (and many others’) childhood, I was worried. I didn’t want it becoming Star Wars: Hannah Montana or suchlike. However, Disney have proved to be more than capable of churning out great Star Wars content. The Mandalorian is a work of art, and I adore the series completely but when Obi-Wan Kenobi was announced, I was unsure. Was this even a Star Wars story I needed or wanted to see?

The limited series brings Ewan McGregor back as Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi master who introduced Luke Skywalker to “The Force”. McGregor, you may recall, played the role in the prequel movie trilogy. It also brings back Haydn Christensen as Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. Others returning to the movie roles include Jimmy Smits as Senator Bail Organa and Joel Edgerton as Owen Lars, and of course, James Earl Jones and Ian MacDiarmid. The series also introduces a wealth of new characters and talent including Moses Ingram as Reva Sevander, an imperial agent on the hunt for Obi-Wan with a secret few could see coming, and Vivien Lyra Blair as Princess Leia Organa. Yes, we have a younger incarnation of everyone’s favourite space princess as a 10 year old. My goodness, she is absolutely brilliant, both at this whole acting malarkey and in channelling a young Carrie Fisher’s sassiness in the part. She is a joy to watch and her relationship with the older Kenobi is one of the highlights, maybe even THE highlight of the whole series. It certainly adds more credibility and poignancy to Carrie Fisher’s message to him through R2-D2 in A New Hope.

As this is a relatively new series, I won’t give much of the plot away here, but the focus of the series is Reeva’s hunt for the last of the Jedi, particularly Obi-Wan Kenobi and she is singularly focussed on the task. This results in the abduction of a young Princess Leia and a rescue mission by Kenobi and his friends.

The internet has been ablaze with commentators and their thoughts on how well the series fits with established continuity as set by the movie saga. I am on the side that there is nothing in the series than causes friction with anything established in the movies. As is now expected from these Disney Star Wars adventures, there is plenty of money on the screen. The effects are spectacular, the sets are truly magnificent for a TV show, and the music, provided by a returning John Williams after Ludwig Goransson scored the Mandalorian and Boba Fett serials, is appropriately epic.

It's an enjoyable ride of a series, and poor young Leia does get put through the wringer a bit, but you can clearly see how what she experiences influences the older Leia we all know and love. The relationship between Kenobi and his young padawan Anakin gets some exploration too and adds new dimensions to Darth Vader that we never knew was possible.  We are also introduced to a number of side characters, such as Haja Estree and Taka Durith, the latter of which is now one of my favourite characters in the Star Wars universe.

So ignore some of the stories you might see on the internet about the show and/or it’s cast. Approach this series with an open mind and I’m sure you will enjoy it. If you can avoid spoilers too, it will make it even better. By the time this is published, you might have heard every spoiler going about Obi-Wan Kenobi, but even armed with the knowledge, you will stall have a good time with this show. As a 6 part limited series, I was not sure what kind of story it would tell, or how they would do it. A lot of thought has gone into this series and it shows. The production team and writers have done a fantastic job in bringing this untold chapter in our heroes’ lives to us. As I stated above, I wasn’t sure if it was a story I wanted or needed, but it turns out I did, on both counts.

Year: 2022

Episode count: 6

Season count: 1 (so far!!)

Availability: Streaming on Disney+

 

Have You Been Watching...? Doctor Who: The Daleks In Colour (2023)

 

Doctor Who, that familiar TV series with the time-travelling Police box TARDIS and its quirky alien pilot The Doctor, turned 60 years old in 2023. To celebrate, the BBC broadcast a re-edited and re-jigged version of its seminal 1963 adventure The Daleks. The Daleks themselves, alien mutants in miniature individual “battle-tanks", were to become an iconic adversary to the Doctor and it made sense for this adventure to be the first to undergo such a transformation. Plodding along at 7x25 minute black & white weekly episodes, the story is now condensed to a mere 75 minutes, and now it’s in colour for the very first time.

Until now, the only way to see this story in colour was via the 1965 heavily adapted movie version starring Peter Cushing, as the genial grandfather Dr Who, which runs for only 5 minutes more than our new TV edit. This one features the original TARDIS crew of William Hartnell as The Doctor, Guinness World Record holder William Russell as Ian Chesterton, Jaqueline Hill as Barbara Wright and Carole Ann Ford as Susan.

If you are completely new to the concept of Dr Who, then this may not be the best jumping on point as literally nothing is explained about our lead characters. In context, the series was heavily serialised in the sixties, with every episode leading on to the next so there would be no need to explain at this point, which would have been episodes 5-11 of the original run.

This new special edition opens with a new version of the classic theme tune, which sounds slightly faster and with new additional sound effects and a technicolour hue. The story then begins in true Wizard of Oz style with a short black and white scene before developing into colour. The story itself is basic enough, The Doctor and the crew come across a technologically advanced city on an alien world, occupied by the Daleks who are at war with the peaceful Thal race. The war ended hundreds of years previously following the detonation of a neutron bomb. In the intervening years, the Daleks have mutated and reside in their metal casings, while the blonde Thals have become peaceful farmers. On the verge of starvation due to their crops failing, the Thals are trying to get help from the Daleks, hoping they too have evolved into peaceful beings. Spoilers - They haven’t (hey, it’s been out there for 60 years – it’s not really a spoiler).

The Doctor we see in this adventure, is not the same as the one we have grown to know. He doesn’t want the teachers around and is sneaky and manipulative. The circumstances he creates to get to view the city is the whole driving point of our plot, and people die because of the decisions he has made. The two teachers have no choice in their situation. It all leads to very strange and somewhat uncomfortable situation. It will be a while before The Doctor mellows to his new companions.

The work on this project is fascinating, and there are pros and cons to this experiment. The source material is 60 years old. It wasn’t the best material from the outset, but the cleaning and colouring has worked very well. It’s not sharp and glaring or in high-definition, but it does have an almost “dream-like” sheen on the image. The colour choices are bright and bold, and it’s clear why this story was the one given the colourisation treatment. The crew behind the scenes have gone for a very sixties style suitable to the time it was made. Long term fans can moan that the Tardis console is, in fact, green in real life and the floor wasn’t blue, but that takes away from the sheer joy of this project. The episodes have been given a very modern “editing” style, with fast shots and flashbacks. Sometimes, these don’t quite work as well as they’d hope and it only feels like minutes ago since we saw the clip that’s being “flashed back” to. The musical score and sounds have been re-done, seemingly with modern TV sensibilities, resulting in it being quite overbearing at times, and drowning out the actual speech. Some effects have been updated, so now the original Daleks do indeed fire laser beams.

It's a very strange experience, especially if you are already well familiar with the original version. Apparently, the whole idea was to re-cut the episodes as a “modern” episode would do it. In this respect, then the experiment is a success! The lengthy script from Terry Nation (Blake's 7, Survivors) has been chopped right back and pretty much all of the padding removed making it rattle along at a lightning pace, very reminiscent of modern episodes. 

There are hints that this may be the first of many re-versions of old Dr Who Black and White episodes. Hopefully, this one can be seen as a starting-off point, learning what works and what didn’t and lessons can be learned, but overall, this is a wonderful new addition to Doctor Who productions and an extra-special treat for the anniversary.

Year: 2023

Availability: BBCiplayer from 23^rd November 2023

Rating: 7/10

 

 

Have You Been Watching...? The Creator (2023)

 

I was looking forward to the Creator, directed and co-written by Welsh director Gareth Edwards. He also directed Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (one of the best Star Wars movies) and co-wrote and directed Monsters (2007).  The trailer looked great and the pedigree good. Can the movie live up to the hype?

The cast is led by ex-American footballer and son of Denzel, John David Washington (“Ballers” TV Series and BlacKKKlansman), as Joshua Taylor and tells the story of the rise of AI (artificial intelligence) and how it goes wrong, leading to the destruction of Los Angeles in a nuclear explosion. While the US abandons AI and actively destroys all AI forms, the rest of the world disagrees and continues to co-exist with AI forms, as police and numerous other forms.

It's an interesting story and certainly plays to current concerns around the rise of AI, and indeed the opening sequence is a fantastic potted-history of what leads up to the movie. However, from this point on, the storey devolves into a generic “golden child” trope.

The American troops are hunting Nirmata, the creator of the AI, and believe she has created a weapon. Josh is undercover as they believe his wife is the daughter of Nirmata. Josh genuinely falls in love with Maya (Gemma Chan from British dramas Bedlam and Dr Who) and she is pregnant with their child. After a botched US army operation, Josh’s cover is blown and Maya is believed to be dead with her unborn baby.

Fast-fowarding five years, Josh is recruited again to hunt down Nirmata and a weapon they are believed to have created. Josh eventually finds out the “weapon” is, in fact, a cyborg-child called “Alpha-O”, with technology far in advance of what’s already known and accepted. Alpha (renamed “Alphie” by Josh) exhibits the ability to control technology, seemingly by her mind. Thus the plot becomes one of keeping the Golden Child away from the baddies.

This is a shame as the movie suggests a wonderful backstory and attempts as world-building, but it feels like it’s being skimmed over. Some of the plot threads don’t join together and there’s a lot of things happening that seem to happen for plot’s sake than genuine development. Characters appear to say something relevant to the plot then are killed off with no development and simply there as exposition. In spite of this, the effects and cinematography are absolutely excellent. I expected this as I can apply the same to Rogue One, but this is the movies only saving grace. The characters are simply cyphers with little to no characterisation or development. I found myself literally not caring about any of them and this meant that despite looking great,t he movie is a chore to watch and lacking in originality. With a running time of over two hours, there’s a lot that could have been excised and told the same story. That excised time could’ve been spent developing the main characters. This is so bad that I can’t even recall any characters name beyond the core three (Josh, Maya and Alphie). The ending of the movie involves so much bizarre decision making that I couldn’t believe what was actually happening on screen and it removed me from investing in the story.

Alphie is played by a young actress called Madeline Yuna Voyles and she is very good with the material provided, and the rest of the cast (including Ralph Ineson who is utterly wasted in this movie) play their roles adequately.

Very much a case of style over substance, The Creator is a bit of a dud, unfortunately.

Year: 2023

Rating: 3/10

Availability: Currently available to rent or buy digitally through the usual outlets.

Have You Been Watching...? The Swarm (Der Schwarm) 2023

What would we do, if one day, our seas turned against us? That’s the intriguing premise of this German produced (and mostly English language) adaptation of the book by German author Frank Shatzing which came out in 2004. The screenplay is by Steven Lally, Marissa Lestrade, Chris Lunt and Michael A Walker and it's directed by Barbara Eder, Luke Watson and Phillipp Stolzl.

The series tells the story, over 8 episodes, of how mankind faces an increasingly dangerous threat from our very own seas. Marine life that is normally docile and friendly, suddenly turns threatening and deadly (in spectacular ways). Mutant sealife causes an epidemic of disease, death and destruction and our seas turn tsunami, wiping out thousands of people.

The series is a truly global affair, and this does make it distinctive from its US contemporaries of big-budget high-concept thrillers.  The cast is multinational, including Sweden’s Alexander Karim (The Wheel of Time), Belgium’s Cecile DeFrance (The Young Pope), Germany’s Leonie Benesch (Around the World in 80 Days) and Oliver Masucci (Dark), Canada’s Joshua Odjick (Three Pines), Japan’s Takehiro Hira (Gran Turismo, Snake Eyes), Finland’s Krista Kosonen (Blade Runner 2049), and England’s Sharon Duncan-Brewster (Years & Years). This wonderful cast are all extremely competent in their roles and clearly committed to the bizarre tale unfolding around them. For our foreign language cast, it’s commendable they perform so much in English and it’s good they get a few scenes in their own first language.

The series is produced by German broadcaster ZDF, with French Television and RAI, with Austrian, Swiss, Swedish and Japanese co-producers. It is the most expensive German produced, English language TV series ever made. The source material being a book is clearly evident in that there doesn’t appear to be much in the way of padding. Everything that happens in the story happens for a reason and fuels what comes after. Our main protagonist is Benesch’s Charlie Wagner, a German researcher stationed in a lighthouse on the Shetland Islands. Through her we are gradually introduced to the other cast and events. Despite some great set-pieces, the series does move along at a snail’s pace, which does hurt the pacing somewhat. However, by the time the ending comes along, we have a better idea of what is happening although some plots are left unresolved. This is possibly down to adapting the material for a potential ongoing series. However, a second series is yet to be confirmed.

The cinematography is truly breathtaking and shows off all the global locations to their full advantage and the special effects are fantastic. There are numerous deaths and the stakes are high but with a small core cast, we don’t get a true feeling of the oncoming apocalypse. That being said, it is wonderful to see a non- American led drama series of this nature and it adds flavour to the genre. At 8 episodes, it’s easy enough to binge watch, but personally I enjoyed pacing the episodes out over a week. While initially broadcast in Europe earlier this year, Now TV have the series available to stream, so do try to avoid spoilers! This is well worth dipping your toes into (but mind the crabs!)

Year: 2023

Episodes: 8

Series: 1 (to date)

Availability: streaming on NOWTV at the time of writing

Have You Been Watching...? Zombies Of Mass Destruction (2009)

 

Zombies of Mass Destruction (aka ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction and even "Zombieworld" in some territories), directed by Kevin Hamedani, is one of those movies that I’d never heard of until I was researching some new movies to watch during the Halloween month of October. I'd read a synopsis and it certainly sounded interesting and I’d watched the trailer, which again looked good. I could not, however, find it anywhere to stream so found a copy on DVD and purchased that. It wasn’t expensive, so I thought if it was terrible, it wouldn’t be such a great loss. It's a purchase I'm very glad I made!

Set in 2003, the movie stars Janette Armand as Frida Abbas, a Princeton University dropout who returns to the small island town of Port Gamble. At the same time, another ex-resident Tom Hunt (played by Doug Fahl) arrives with his boyfriend Lance (Cooper Hopkins) with a view to come out to his mother over dessert. These two storylines seem innocuous enough to the viewer, but there is a reason this movie is set in 2003. This is the era of post 9/11, the Iraq war, George W Bush is president and the fear of terrorism is at its peak. Heavy topics for a low budget zombie flick.

The people of Port Gamble are small minded and hold bigoted views. This plays significantly in the stories of Frida, Tom and Lance. The locals all seem to believe Frida and her father come from Iraq, despite her frequent reminders they are from Iran, a completely different country and that she herself is born and raised in America. Tom relates to Lance that a boy he had a crush on in school was outed and had a terrible experience, so he has been terrified of coming out since (the couple now reside in New York). As all this is happening, slowly, some of the residents are becoming zombified. It isn't made clear how this is happening, or the root cause (no chemical waste in this scenario) but you don't need to know how. 

The movie is a very low budget affair (the biggest name cast member appears to be Russell Hodgkinson, who played series regular “Doc” in Z Nation), but don't let that put you off.  This movie is great! There are some decent special effects and the script is hilarious. There are copious amounts of gore and humour throughout, although it takes a while to get going. Once it does, there’s no stopping it. I found myself laughing so much one minute and squirming at some of the gore and the situations our heroes find themselves in, the next.

Despite being a zombie horror movie on a low budget, there is something really sweet about it. The viewer finds itself rooting for Frida, Tom and Lance as their situations get worse by the minute. Yes, there are very uncomfortable moments when the trio face the prejudices against them, but they are without doubt the heroes of this adventure and the voices of reason in the face of small-mindedness. In the era of post 9/11 and the associated paranoia that came from that, the movie is a breathtaking reflection on that time told from the perspective of those being persecuted. Not all of the townspeople are so petty and there are clues that Tom’s homosexuality is not quite the secret he thought it was.

The cast are extremely competent in their roles and at less than 90 minutes long, it gets rolling quite quickly. It’s definitely worth investing in and you won’t be disappointed!

Year: 2009

Availability: in the UK, appears to be on DVD only

Rating 8/10  

 

Have You Been Watching...? Dead (2020)

 

Antipodean movies don’t tend to get much exposure over here in the UK, but sometimes one comes along that stands out from most. Films such as Australiens, Housebound and the Wyrmwood movies are all great genre movies with that wonderful bizarre humour that tends to only comes from Australia and New Zealand, mixed nicely with the drama and scares.

Dead was released in 2020 and stars comedian Thomas Sainsbury, whom you may know from the “What we do in the Shadows” spin-off “Wellington Paranormal” as hapless Constable Parker. I recently came across this on the usual streaming services and it was well worth the investment.

The movie tells the story of Marbles (Sainsbury), a stoner who can see and communicate with ghosts. Whether he likes it or not. One day, he comes across the ghost of Police Officer Jayson Tagg (Hayden Weal), recently killed in the line of duty and minus his pants (which means poor Weal spends the entire film in his undies). Together, they try to catch a serial killer who appears to be bumping off young gay men. While this sounds like it should be serious stuff, the movie doesn’t hold back from playing it for laughs.

As the buddy-cop friendship develops between Marbles and Tagg, the copper’s reasons for being so steadfast in his attempts to catch the killer are teased out bit by bit. Their investigations lead to them to an array of quirky oddball characters and bizarre plot twists which also involve zombies.

While some of the jokes do fall a little flat, there is plenty to enjoy in this light-hearted and very silly romp. However, it is a romp with a lot of heart and leads to a cheesy, yet very sweet ending.

There have been a lot of movies lately that built up a concept only to fall flat on it’s face, and I’ve written quite a few entries which haven’t been over complimentary where this occurs. “Dead” might not be the biggest, incredible movie of all time, but it is one of the few recent movies that has made me laugh out loud, smile at the right moments, and just make me feel warm and happy inside.

The movie is definitely Sainsbury’s vehicle, and he leads the it well portraying Marbles as someone with this incredible gift that doesn’t really want it but helps people anyway. Weal deserves kudos for portraying Tagg as this funny, affectionate and dedicated copper, with secrets of his own, and doing it ALL without trousers.

Written by its two stars and directed by Weal, they know exactly what to do in order to get the most from each and every shot. The love and care for the material shines through.

If you like Antipodean cinema and genre movies in general, you would do well in investing time with this one. It might not rock your world, but you won’t regret it.

Year: 2020

Availability: digitally to buy or rent

Rating: 7/10

Have You Been Watching...? Jury Duty (2023)

 

One of the “phenomena” that has taken off on the internet is that of the “social experiment”. This involves “influencers” setting up situations with the public and then posting the films online. Think a less-funny Beadle’s About (if you were watching me say this, I'd be doing little air quites for those terms...). Most of these simply serve to promote their content creators rather than be genuine social experiments. TV has had a go too, with programmes such as Big Brother looking at everyday folk under the microscope of TV cameras. None of these come anywhere close to Jury Duty.

When I first heard of Jury Duty, an Amazon Freevee Original first broadcast in early 2023, it was compared to The Office. With not being a fan of The Office, I gave it a miss as that type of Docu-comedy doesn’t appeal to me. What a mistake that was. The series came up on one of those recommended images that appear, and for some reason, I gave it a chance.

What I’m about to write now is NOT a spoiler. In fact, it appears right at the very beginning of the first episode. The series is about a documentary being made around the jury at a trial in an American court. Except it’s fake. All of it is. The trial, the officers and the jury are all actors. Except one: 29 year old Solar Panel contractor Ronald Gladden, and he has no idea. As a member of the public, Ronald answered an advert for potential jurors to take part in the programme all the while believing it to be real. The crew are being given “unprecedented” access behind the scenes of a trial in court, documenting everything from the selection of the jury through the trial itself, to the verdict. But it is all dramatized. The only thing that is not planned is Ronald and his reactions to the developing situations. This requires the production team to be 100% switched on to change things at a moment’s notice in case the game is given away. The team have no way of predicting how Ronald will react, and if he guesses, the entire scheme is over.

What follows is one of the most wholesome and joyful programmes that I have ever sat through. From the selection process, the jury is made up of a group of the most bizarre and yet still believable people and the viewer watches as Ronald tries to fathom how to work with these people and the workings of a genuine trial. The series also features Hollywood star James Marsden (Enchanted, X-Men, Hairspray and many more) as a truly exaggerated version of himself. Despite everything that’s thrown at him, Ronald remains the bastion of common sense and normality amongst all the chaos around him and he comes across as a likeable, and very genuine young man. I defy any of you to watch the final episode without a lump in your throat or tears in your eyes.

The series drifts from each bizarre situation to the next all built around the trial Yes, indeed, the cast and crew sat through hours of a fake trial every single day. Thankfully, the trial itself takes second place to the jury and the show doesn’t linger on the courtroom dramas too much beyond what you need to know to understand the dilemmas the jury finds itself in.

Each episode lasts approximately 25-30 minutes and there are 8 episodes in total (although on Freevee, there are way more than that listed as the last batch are behind the scenes episodes). This makes binge watching very easy but it’s much more fun to spread them out.

I enjoyed the series immensely. The cast are fantastic and don’t let their guard down at all (how they do this is revealed in the behind the scenes and they all deserve awards for their commitment!). For a star like James Marsden to agree to send himself up in the way he does is also commendable and he is hilarious throughout. It’s also very easy to forget, as you’re watching, that this is meticulously planned so a huge credit to the crew for being able to commit to and produce such a feat of television. The writers, the camera crew, the production team and everyone has pulled together to create this masterpiece. It’s no surprise to find it nominated for 4 Emmy awards. As enjoyable as the programme is, the sad thing (while also being a good thing), is that this can be the only series. With the cat out of the bag, anything else can only ever be a retreat or inferior copy as any unsuspecting stooge will hope to promote themselves in the way that Ronald inadvertently did. I hope you do look in on this series as I believe you will enjoy it as much as I.

Year – 2023

Series count – 1

Episode count – 8

Availability – currently streaming on Amazon Freevee

Have You Been Watching...? Maneater (2022)

 

There are movies that are good, and there are movies that are bad. Maneater, a recent entry into the “Sharks are bad, m’kay” category, is a whole new category all of it’s own. 

I enjoy creature feature movies, where there’s a monster wiping people out left, right and centre. 1975’s seminal entry “Jaws” took this very subject and turned it into one of the most frightening and intense movies ever. Even though, shockingly, the antagonist only appears in the film for a total of about 5 minutes, the rest of the film is taken up with an increasing sense of dread. But that's a different movie...

Maneater follows Jaws' opening scene with the first death happening quickly, although in Maneater’s case, it’s within seconds of the film starting. Thus begins one of the strangest movie experiences I have ever had. 

The cast is led by ex-Neighbours cast member Nicky Whelan (Pepper Steiger, when she trod Ramsay Street in the early 2000s), as Jessie a woman whose wedding is cancelled but goes off on the honeymoon anyway with a bunch of her pals. Interestingly, while they all act like kids on spring break (and at one point Jessie herself is even called “kid”) none of them look under 40 (Whelan is actually 41) which makes the decisions and actions of the characters unbelievable. Even suspending belief, although we are told various things about their backgrounds, none of the cast act anything more than bland and one-dimensional. 

Unfortunately for the movie, the budget appears to have been non-existent, and the shark appears in terrible CGI and rubber form. In one scene the cast are gathered on the boat, with it’s crew, discussing the various sea life they can observe. Sadly for the viewer, the camera remains on the cast throughout the scene. Whether this is scripted this way or not, it results in the viewer hearing what’s being seen by them, but not getting that experience. Not only that, the scene drags on and becomes somewhat uncomfortable and painful to watch.

As our shark starts gnawing its way through our cast, it’s quite easy to tell who is going to be next and there are no surprises. In fact, the best and only surprises are the deaths of our cast that DON’T happen by being shark treats. One of them, a character whose hands tend to flap a lot, is dispatched in such a way that I found myself laughing out loud at how hilariously funny it was. Another disoatched body makes a fleeting re-appearance, but our cast do NOTHING to assist, even CPR. One of the cast survives it’s encounter with the shark only to be tended to by the worst first-aid in history, that I expected the character to beg the shark to come back and finish the job. It would be quicker and better.

Needless to say, the movie ends with sharky meeting a sticky end. However, that’s not the end of our movie. Oh no, not only have we endured 90 minutes of this, our movie ends with the promise, or rather threat, of a sequel in a scene so forced it feels like it was made simply to bump up the runtime.

So, while some movies are good, and some are bad, Maneater falls into that rare category of being neither. It firmly belongs in the “ridiculous” category. After 90 minutes, I didn’t love it, yet I don’t hate it. 

It just….exists.

Year: 2022

Availability: to buy or rent from digital retailers

Rating: 2/10

Have You Been Watching...? The Flash (2023)

 

The Flash is a Detective Comics character which first appeared in the January 1940 “Flash Comics” issue number 1. Without going into too much depth on the comic aspect, there have been several iterations of the character. The recent DC universe movies have featured the Barry Allen incarnation, played by Ezra Miller. In short, he is a forensic scientist. One day, a bolt of lightning struck his lab, dousing him in chemicals and electricity, and then giving him the superpower of speed. Together with other DC heroes such as Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Cyborg and Aquaman, he forms part of the Justice League. He appears in previous DC movies Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Suicide Squad, Justice League and its alternate Zack Snyder’s Justice League. Now, he headlines his own movie, even though the Justice League features throughout.

In his eponymous movie, the plot is motivated by the murder of Barry’s mother many years previously. Barry’s father is incarcerated for the crime, but Barry knows his father is innocent. His father’s new hearing (following new evidence) is due the next day. Reminiscing about the day his mum was killed, Barry accidentally discovers he can travel fast enough to break the speed of light and thus travel in time. Against the advice of his best friend and mentor, Bruce Wayne aka Batman (Ben Affleck), he travels back to just prior to his mother’s death and sets in motion a chain of events that should stop it occurring. However, on his return trip to the present, he is knocked out of the timestream and finds himself on the day he received his powers.  He then has to team up with his younger 18 year old self to ensure these events take place as planned. Needless to say, they don’t. Barry creates a whole new timeline that erases Affleck’s Batman, and replaces him with the 1989 incarnation played by Michael Keaton. Aquaman is never born, there is no sign of Wonder Woman, Cyborg never became a cyborg, and Clark Kent aka Superman is killed off as an infant. Replacing the Man of Steel in this movie is the Woman of Steel, Kara Zor-El, aka Supergirl, played by Sasha Calle. They then face off against General Zod from Planet Krypton during the now alternative incidents portrayed in the Man of Steel movie.

Having two Barry Allens is a great idea and watching Ezra Miller playing two versions of himself is rather neat. He begins to understand others’ frustrations about him and allows for some character development. Michael Keaton is wonderful as Bruce Wayne/Batman and it’s a great nostalgia hit seeing him in the role so long after Tim Burton’s “Batman” and “Batman Returns”. Sadly, Michael Gough has long since passed and we don’t see an alternative to the Jeremy Irons portrayal of Alfred Pennyworth. Gal Gadot does make a short appearance as Wonder Woman and she plays the role so well, it’s always nice to see her.

As with most superhero movies, there is an abundance of CGI effects. While some of these work extremely well, others work less so. There is a great sequence involving the destruction of a hospital during which Barry has to rescue falling babies (I kid you not), a screaming nurse and a therapy dog within seconds, all while trying to handle running out of energy (hey, being a speedster uses up a lot of juice!). This scene is then played again over the end credits, concentrating on the dog’s experience and it is HILARIOUS.

There are some lovely deeper moments for both Barrys too, and a very poignant resolution to the timelines conundrum. As Barry realises the damage he has caused to the timelines, we see alternative versions of our heroes, allowing for many cameos including Batman’s Adam West, Burt Ward and Cesar Romero from the 1960s series, George Reeves in black and white, Christopher Reeve and Helen Slater as Superman and Supergirl from the 80s movies. There are also cameos from other stars but I won’t reveal those here. Let’s just say, the DC universe will never be the same again.

The Flash Movie is a lot of fun, an allegation that has seldom been put to the DCU films. There are many laugh out loud moments and a cast that resembles the end of an era where everything but the kitchen sink is thrown in. As the news suggests the DCU gets a reboot soon, this does seem like a nice way to end this “phase” of movies, if you wish.

The plot is thin and doesn’t make a lot of sense, but is the plot the real reason anyone would want to watch such a film? Maybe for some, but if you are in the mood for around 150 minutes of just pure popcorn munching bliss, you won’t be disappointed. While the movie does reference the previous features, I don’t think an in-depth knowledge of them would be a requirement to enjoy this one, as a lot of exposition is spoon-fed to the audience.

Year: 2023

Availability: Currently available to purchase digitally from online streaming retailers.

Rating: 7/10

Have You Been Watching...? Deadloch

 

Australian TV does put out some duffers, just like any other country, but it also produces some sparking diamonds. Deadloch is such a jewel. This is a limited comedy/drama series of just 8 episodes, released on Amazon Prime in mid 2023, tells the story of the investigation into a gruesome murder in the small, sleepy, coastal town of Deadloch.

It’s been a while since I was desperately awaiting the next instalment of any series, but Amazon Prime’s decision to release it weekly meant I had to. As least this way, there were no opportunities for spoilers to ruin the mystery.

Kate Box, who played the psychopathic killer Lou Kelly in Wentworth, plays police sergeant Dulcie Collins. She has relocated to Deadloch with her wife, local vet Cath, after the pressures of working in Sydney caused problems in their relationship. Deadloch has become very welcoming to the LGBT+ community (at least on the surface). When a body is discovered on the beach with its tongue removed, Dulcie’s position as the lead investigator is usurped by the arrival of Eddie Redcliffe, played by Madeleine Sami. Redcliffe is a foul-mouthed, rude, crude and very funny (but with secrets of her own) complete reversal to Dulcie’s straight down the middle Detective. The two clash from the outset and when it transpires that the duo are looking at a serial killer rather than a one off, their two styles cause mayhem in the ensuing investigation.

As the story progresses, we are introduced to the residents, and suspects, of Deadloch, and what a bunch of kooky, strange and interesting people they are. Dulcie’s colleagues are the nice-but-dim officer Sven Alderman (Tom Balland), who is very much Gen Z to a T, and the sweet but vastly underestimated Abby Matsuda (Nina Oyama). Residents include the hot-headed chef Skye O’Dwyer (Hollie Austin), Doctor/Mayor Aleyna Rahme (Susie Youssef), teenagers Tammy and Miranda (Leonie Whyman and Kartanya Maynard), Eddie’s “love interest” Ray Pies, aka Ray McLintock (Duncan Fellows) and local “stirrer” Phil McGangus (Shaun Martindale). Dulcie’s wife Cath is played by Alicia Gardiner, playing a very OTT lesbian vet, while Kate Box’s Wentworth co-stars Pamela Rabe and Kris McQuade play Margaret Carruthers and Victoria O’Dwyer respectively, both characters being heavyweights in the local community. Dulcie stands as the sole voice of reason aming this collection of strange people!

As the murders mount and the town prepares for its “Feastival”, community is examined under great detail, especially one as close-knit as Deadloch and as the investigations progress and secrets exhumed, the town will never be the same again.

It was Kate Box’s appearance that drew me to the series initially, but I’m surprised it’s not been more publicised and Deadloch is a sure fire winner. I was concerned the mystery could not be spun out over 8 hour long episodes, but it does. Everytime you think you have the plot sussed, something else comes along that tips it right over. I thoroughly enjoyed trying to work out what was going on, and pleasantly surprised I got it hopelessly wrong!

Overall, Deadloch is 8 hours of funny, crude dark jokes, feminism, LGBTQ+ and racism commentary, community observations and mysteries. Even when I thought it might be flagging, it turned it around and this is all down to the cracking script by Kate McCartney and Kate McLennan. It’s very hard to write about it without spoilers, so I encourage you all to look in on this one. Who knows? If there’s interest, there could even be a sequel. I would just hope that it would keep up the same standard as the high bar set by Deadloch.

Year: 2023

Episode count: 8

Season count: 1

Availability: streaming on Amazon Prime

Have You Been Watching...? The Midwich Cuckoo's (2022)

I’m a great fan of John Wynham’s science fiction works including Day of the Triffids, Chocky, The Kraken Wakes and The Midwich Cuckoos. The last book has been dramatized several times, a 1960 movie renamed “The Village of the Damned” and a 1995 John Carpenter remake of the same name. So, when in early 2022, I was surprised to hear that Sky were making a new, updated series, and keeping the books name. “Bring it on!” I thought to myself with excitement.

The series debuted over the Platinum Jubilee weekend, celebrating 70 years on the UK throne of Queen Elizabeth II. I mention this, as due to the wall to wall programming around the event, I failed to notice the arrival of the series I’d been looking forward to, its debut lost in the midst of flags and pageantry.

The series is headlined by Keeley Hawes (Ashes to Ashes, Upstairs Downstairs) and Max Beesley (Survivors, Mad Dogs). Hawes played the gender-swapped lead (in the book it’s Gordon Zellaby, in this new adaptation it’s Susannah Zellaby) and DCI Paul Haynes is played by Beesley.

The plot begins in line with the novel, as every woman of child-bearing ages falls pregnant after a mysterious blackout causes the population of Midwich to fall unconscious. In our new update, Midwich is no longer a small village, but a reasonably sized town (there is even reference to the area where the blackout happens as “the Zone”, suggesting not all of Midwich experience the event). Also in line with current ideas, the government seems to know a lot more about what’s going on in Midwich than they let on.

The children do not have the platinum blonde hair as per the previous movies, opting instead for regular hair colours and styles, although the glowing eyes when their powers are used remains (there’s a wonderfully eerie scene in the hospital ward where all the babies open their eyes at the same time as the mums sleep). I think this is a good idea, as the blonde wigs in previous adaptations are a bit “on the nose”. Distractingly though, in this new version, when the powers are in use, electric lights begin to play up.

As the parents and residents begin to realise what’s going on, it’s a little too late for some. There are also newer layers added to the story that fans might recognise along the lines of the original sequel movie “Children of the Damned”. The series does, however, plod significantly. It’s sometimes painfully slow, and I cannot fathom why they settled on 7 episodes. It seems a strange number these days when most series have 6, 8 or 10 episode runs. This series didn’t need 7. It could have done with a tighten up. This leads to some strange choices on behalf of the script. The characters make strange decisions. For example, after numerous incidents of the children displaying their powers, when something otherworldly happens to one character, someone mentions it could be a reaction to abuse! Really? THAT’S your first conclusion? As the episodes continue, more and more characters start making plainly obvious bad choices, almost as an excuse to remove them from the rest of the story.

However, Keeley Hawes is great in it, and her character Susannah Zellaby is sufficiently curious and caring enough to be a real doctor. Max Beesley, on the other hand, is all over the place with Paul Haynes. Is he supposed to be a downtrodden copper, an action-man hero? It’s very hard to pinpoint, but the character does not encourage sympathy. Other characters do no more than what they’re supposed to, for reasons of plot. Dodgy government man? Check. A number of the mum characters start off with a lot of potential but when the kids turn up, become nothing more than someone to read the lines of the script, any character development dies a death very early on.

There are plot holes so big you can drive trucks through them. If, as the story suggests, Midwich is actually much larger than a village, how does the REST of the town not notice what’s going on? Where are all the other children in the town that it warrants a prep school, but we only really see one or two other kids? They talk about purposefully distancing themselves from friends and family, for YEARS without anyone doing anything at all? How does one character suddenly know how to make a fertiliser bomb? There’s been little to no mention of the characters background to make this knowledge believable. If they are “cut off” from the rest of the world as such, how does one character make contact with a dodgy dealer to obtain a gun? It’s things like this that demonstrate the show has ideas, but no idea how to make them work realistically. I know it’s a work of fiction but going to the effort to make it relevant to the 21st century and not address these issues just make it ridiculous.

It's a shame as I REALLY wanted to like this, given my love of the source material and the original movie (and the 95 one too) This series, however, must rate as the worst adaptation. It’s not a terrible programme, it just aims so high, but doesn’t quite get there. There is a resolution, and it’s NOT what happens in the previous adaptations, so there are no spoilers here. Personally, I’d LOVE some new adaptations of Wynham’s material, like Chocky and The Kraken Wakes, but not if made to this standard.

Year: 2022

Episode count: 7

Season count: 1 (hopefully)

Availability: Currently playing on NowTV (Sky).

Have You Been Watching...? Phase IV (1974)

 

Phase IV is one of those movies that I’d heard of but always got confused with something else. Ants taking over the world? Somehow this, in my mind, became the Joan Collins vehicle “Empire of the Ants” which did come out a few years after Phase IV. I recall Empire of the Ants from when I was little and being underwhelmed, had no intention of ever seeing it again. However, in 2012, the long lost director’s ending to Phase IV (it had been believed destroyed) was recovered. Mildly perusing the internet, I came across the lost ending video and watched it. I was instantly intrigued. This was NOT the giant ant movie I thought it was. So I sought out a copy.

This is a very strange movie. I’ve seen reviews describing it as “creepy”. It’s directed by a chap called Saul Bass, who is apparently big in the “title sequence” genre, and this is his only feature length work. I feel a little sad about that as Phase IV is GREAT. Made in 1974 on a very low budget, it tells the story of the aftermath of a “celestial event”, that appears to have left earth unaffected. One scientist discovers that various species of ant have begun to co-operate and communicate and take out the opposition. Scientist Hubb (played by British actor Nigel Davenport (Chariots of Fire, Man for All Seasons) and Scientist Lesko played by Michael Murphy (The Mayor in Batman Returns) seal themselves off in a dome in Arizona after the ants build seven large towers. The ants behaviour scares most of the population away apart from one homestead, who decide to stay and fight. Thus begins a battle of wits between the human scientists and intelligent ants.

There is a tiny cast in this movie (pun intended!) with only 3 main characters. The filming of the ants and stopmotion work is incredible, giving genuine personality to the ants. While a lot of people describe this film as terrifying, I found it a lot of fun. Each side takes a turn on the other, like a game of chess. There are a few grisly deaths, although off screen (depending if you think a Mantis gorging on an ant is grisly or not). I found myself rooting for the ants a few times! It is implied that this is happening world over, but you never really get a feel of that, and that the two scientists seem to be the only ones with nay idea what’s going on.

Brian Gascoigne provides the music and I do quite like the 70s creepy synth work in this. It certainly marries up nicely with the images. When the viewer does reach the ending, it’s easy to see why the director was upset at the changes the studio made. The theatrical ending, while giving an explanation of sorts as to what the ants are up to, is nothing compared to the trippy and terrifying alternate ending. You would do well to seek it out.

It might be an oldie, but Phase IV is definitely worth looking in on. Apparently it has gathered quite the cult status and I can see why. It’s not amazing and unlikely to shake your world, and there are a few plot holes (particularly one moment of ants revenge when I had no idea it WAS ants revenge). It runs for just under 85 minutes and if approached with an open mind, you might enjoy this too!

Year: 1974

Availability: on Blu Ray from 101 films, digitally on streaming services.

Rating: 5/10

 

Have You Been Watching...? Vivarium (2019)

 

Sometimes a movie comes along, and you hear the buzz (or lack of) and you make a conscious decision that this isn’t something you would want to see.  I’d heard of Vivarium when it first came out. The premise intrigued me, but it’s low budget and cast didn’t appeal to me, so I decided I would give it a miss.

Fast forward a couple of years when there’s nothing on the telly but Vivarium comes up on my suggested watches list. Well, in the absence of anything better, I pressed play and got ready for disappointment. Most movies these days have great ideas, then lose the plot as they move on.

Vivarium didn’t just exceed my expectations, it is a truly brilliant piece of work. Is it a horror story? Is it science fiction? Is it a warning? Who knows, there is so much to unpack in this movie and its tiny cast (number-wise, not in stature) doesn’t detract from the nightmare.

What’s it about, then? Tom and Gemma, a bright, happily-in-love young couple played by Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network, Zombieland, Now You See Me) and Imogen Poots (28 Weeks Later and new Amazon series Outer Range) decide to buy their first home together on a large, sprawling modern new-build estate. After being brought to the property by creepy salesman Martin (played by Jonathan Aris (The World’s End, The Martian), they find themselves alone after Martin disappears. Despite numerous attempts to leave, they keep finding their way back to the house.

It's going to be difficult to talk about the film without mentioning what happens in it. So, MILD SPOILERS AHEAD….

Things go from bad to worse when a box appears outside, with a baby in it. The instructions left with the baby suggest if they raise it, they will be released. The nightmare then continues to get worse.

Is it worth spending you time on? Absolutely, yes. What appears to be an extended episode of The Twilight Zone or such, turns into an eerie and downright bizarre affair. What I initially thought would be negatives actually turn into positives for this movie. It’s low budget and sets help maintain that eeriness. The estate looks like something out of a pop video, and it’s even mentioned in dialogue when characters discuss the clouds looking like “clouds”.  There is no imagination here. Everything does what it is supposed to do. The clearly unreal reality works in the movie’s favour.

Do we get answers? Not really. The movie’s main message appears to be joining in the expectations of society: a dream home, coupled bliss, having a child, become the epitome of the destruction of individuality, and a person’s worst nightmare is becoming a parent and homeowner!  The child develops throughout the movie, and becomes addicted to television, but in this case a surreal display of imagery and symbols that could be an alien language. Gemma and Tom do try to break out of their habitat several times, to their cost.

The ending of the movie throws up even more questions that ultimately remain unanswered. Usually this would have me yelling at the TV and thinking that they writers couldn’t find a way to resolve the story, but it WORKS here. Knowing less about what is going on seems to make this movie work better. Tom and Gemma don’t know, we don’t know and the only people who do know are the protagonists, whom we don’t even get to meet beyond “Martin” (and his final scene is nothing short of shocking!)

Vivarium is a good movie. Maybe not one to choose if you want a bubblegum movie, but if you want something to give you food for thought and is a little disconcerting, you’d do a lot worse than go for this one.

Year – 2019

Availability – Amazon Prime (at time of writing. Various language and subtitle options)

HYBW movie rating – 7/10

Have You Been Watching...? Lifeforce (1985)

 

I first saw “Lifeforce”, the 1985 Canon Group British/US horror movie, back in the 1990s, at some ungodly hour when I was a student. I recall being quite impressed by it. It was certainly unusual.

Fast forward to 2023 and I’ve recently watched it again, this time in glorious High Definition, and I have to admit, having not seen it in years meant I enjoyed it even more this time around.

The movie is based on a novel called “The Space Vampires” which does give the plot away somewhat. In the novel by Colin Wilson, the vampires suck out the victim’s life force/essence, thus making the renaming for the film a good move, it takes away that “spoiler”. The cast features a “who’s who” of cult TV and movie stars. Leading the pack is Patrick Stewart, just a few years away from his Captain Picard days. Joining him is Peter Firth (The Flipside of Dominick Hyde, Another Flip for Dominick, Spooks), Nicholas Ball (Hazell, Red Dwarf as the Justice Simulant, John Hallam (Moonbase 3, Dr Who as Light, Flash Gordon), Nancy Paul (whom I knew as Sara Brogan in Space Precinct) and Steve Railsback (sci-fi fans may remember him as alien abductee Duane Barry setting off a plotline that would run the entire series). The movie is directed by the legendary Tobe Hooper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Salem’s Lot, Poltergeist, Invaders from Mars) and the music is by Henry Mancini (The Pink Panther, Breakfast at Tiffanys “Moon River”)

Lifeforce occupies a space in 1980s scifi horror fantasy in which the whole style of it, the cinematography, the special effects and music all combine to make a product of its time. It’s all swishy lights and lightning. Another example of this is the fantasy movie Krull and similarly, Highlander which all came out around the same time. Unfortunately, Lifeforce goes for a very mature audience, which means there’s a LOT of nudity. With a modern viewpoint, that can be a bit uncomfortable as they have no concerns showing female full frontal nudity but the men are spared.

So our story concerns a spaceship finding an alien craft near Halley’s comet (so 1985). They explore and find the remain of an alien culture and 3 humanoid forms in stasis. Later, the humans craft is destroyed and in the blink of an eye, the humanoid forms are now on earth being investigated. Of course, it all goes wrong and they escape to wreck havoc. It transpires that they’ve been here before! Our vampire legends have evolved from them. There are some truly impressive effects for the time, especially the exploration of the alien craft and the act of lifeforce transference, and if you can spot it, watch out for a surprising detail in the eyes of the vampires and their victims. Our heroes are Col. Colin Caine (Firth) and Col. Tom Carlson (Railsback),  It turns out one of our intrepid heroes is linked the space vampires in more ways than one and could be our saviour. Cue a lot of running (and flying) around, vampire shenanigans, gore aplenty, London being raised to the ground by second generation lifeforce vampires and nice characters getting bumped off in gruesome ways. As dramatic and illuminating the final scene is, I’m still not 100% sure how it ended. It runs for 116mins (international cut) and surprisingly doesn’t seem to lag at all. It’s helped along by the fact our space vampire can jump into others’ bodies and the “investigation” of our heroes probably helps keep it flowing.

Lifeforce is not a masterpiece by any margin, especially when it gets to the “apocalypse” phase, but it’s a cracking yarn and actually a lot of fun. There are some decidedly “iffy” moments (the bit on the helicopter is interesting but seems to serve no purpose and you may never see Picard in the same way again). However, if there are no kids around and you don’t mind seeing a bit of “ladyparts”, you’ll quite possibly enjoy this one!

Year: 1985

Availability: Currently streaming on Amazon Freevee (at time of writing), also on Blu Ray from Arrow Video.

Rating: 7/10

 

Have You Been Watching...? Gatlopp (2022)

 

Once upon a time, well 1995, a movie came out and immediately entered the public consciousness: Jumanji. The tale of a game that trapped its players and caused havoc. It was a huge big-budget spectacle that spawned spin-offs and sequels aplenty. That isn’t the tale of 2022’s “Gatlopp”, sometimes subtitled “Hell of a Game.”

Yes, it’s a film based on a game that traps its players and causes havoc, but that’s really where the similarities end. Gatlopp is not aimed at kids and has a much lower budget. But it’s FANTASTIC.

The film’s cold open and title sequence nicely set up what to expect. In our tale, four friends who have drifted apart, come together for an evening. One has come into possession of a “credenza” (or as I know them: a sideboard)and inside is a board game called, yes you guessed it, “Gatlopp”. The word turns out to be Swedish for “Gauntlet” or moreso “running the gauntlet” another clue as to what’s about to happen.

In the most movie way possible to make their actions believable, the friends do not read the instructions that come with the game (uh-oh) and as the strange events unfold, they realise they are indeed trapped and must finish the game or……they play it for all eternity.

There are some special effects in the movie, but the main difference is the game forces people to tell the truth, or there are consequences. As the game progresses, the friends lies and cover-ups are brought to the fore and their friendships are severely tested. If they fail, or don’t answer in time, they must suffer, one makes a brief visit to hell, while another finds themselves with an arrow embedded in their leg (yes, that might be a spoiler, but you really won’t see it coming).

For all of this happening and their ridiculous situations, the most important thing for me with this movie is: it’s hilarious. Our four main cast: Paul (played by Jim Mahoney who played bubbly headed “Brosk” in “The Orville”), Cliff (played by Jon Bass from genre comedies “She-Hulk” and “Miracle Workers”), Sam (played by Emmy Raver-Lampman whom fantasy fans may recognise from Netflix’s “The Umbrella Academy”) and Troy (played by Sarunas J Jackson who has appeared in drama series “Good Trouble”) are totally believable in their roles and there is a genuine sense that these are real friends who have drifted apart but still care about each other (even one time lovers Sam and Troy). The script is witty and the dialogue does not come across as forced. They speak like real friends speak. Their reactions are believable, even THEY can’t believe the mess they are in. The film is directed by Alberto Belli, who does a sterling job with limited sets and small cast. The message or moral of the story is nothing shocking. One tries to justify the group by saying “We are good people”, only to be told they are not. They are just people. It’s true. They aren’t saints OR sinners. They are just everyday folk who sometimes make calamitous mistakes. This message sets up a very funny, if somewhat startling, final scene.

With a brisk running time of 80 minutes, it makes the most of the short run-time meaning it never feels padded or flags for any meaningful period of time. It’s quick, funny and immensely enjoyable. The effects are good (for what they are. Hell is represented by someone getting a very, very bad sun burn). I hope you do look in on this one.

Year: 2022

Availability: Streaming on Amazon Prime (for free at the time of writing)

Rating: 7/10

Have You Been Watching...? Get Duked! (2019)

 

In my quest to find entertainment that entertains, I quite like to find myself getting surprised by little gems that have gone un-noticed. Get Duked! (complete with exclamation mark) is one of those little gems. If you have ever seen the BBC series “Stag”, you will find some similarities with this little 90 minute Amazon Original, but don’t let that put you off.

Get Duked! (originally titled Boyz in the Wood) focusses on 3 “chavvy” types who have been selected by their school’s headmaster to go on a “Duke of Edinburgh scheme” outdoors challenge. For those unaware, this is a scheme created by the Duke of Edinburgh way back, to encourage team work and community among young people and is still going strong to this day. Mr Carlilse, their teacher (a great turn by Jonathan Aris whom you may know from Sherlock and His Dark Materials) takes the group to the Scottish highlands, where they must find their way to their campsite using team-work, orienteering and foraging skills. Our group is Samuel Bottomley (Ackley Bridge, The Teacher, Somewhere Boy) as slightly-more-reasonable Ian, Lewis Gribben (Somewhere Boy, Deadwater Fell, T2: Trainspotting) as dim Duncan, Viraj Duneja as wannabe hip-hop star “DJ Beatroot”, and Rian Gordon as Dean. Whereas Dean, Duncan and DJ all know each other, Ian is the slightly quieter one who actually WANTS to be on the expedition.

As our story progresses, the group of 4 find themselves the target of a gunman in the shape of Eddie Izzard and his equally psychotic wife played by Georgie Glen. The two have decided that young people these days are ruining everything and decide they require culling. Clues to this are laid along the way, including an ominous “missing persons” board where the gang are dropped off. As our hapless group try to avoid becoming the newest entries on the board, they find themselves in all sorts of ridiculous scrapes.

As a British comedy about young people there are, of course, numerous reference to drugs, but again don’t let that put you off. The movie is downright hilarious, and probably way more funny that I ever though it should be. The main cast are utterly charming in their roles and their exploration of friendship is a lovely thing developed throughout the movie. There are some hilariously bizarre moments, including what the farming community get up to of an evening, the local coppers trying to find their next big case and some of the funniest deaths ever put on film (probably). All of this builds up to a surprisingly satirical, yet thoughtful, finale that will have you thinking even after the movie has ended.

Our main cast are supported by Izzard and Glen, but there are also appearance from Game of Thrones stars James Cosmo and Kate Dickie, Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace star Alice Lowe, Sunshine of Leith’s Kevin Guthrie and a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance from Dr Who’s Young Amy Pond Caitlin Blackwood. Hidden away behind one of the masks is one-time Steve Wilson from Prisoner Cell Block H himself James Smillie.

It’s been a while since I laughed out loud so much during a movie that I thoroughly enjoyed this one. It’s very well written, tightly plotted and with some great directional choices. There are also some very funny little background details so keep your eyes open!

I was also quite surprised to see one of the producers was none other than Hollywood Spider-man star Tobey Maguire.

Overall, if you enjoyed movies like “Attack the Block” and Tv Shows like “The Inbetweeners”, you will find plenty to enjoy in this.

Year: 2019

Availability: at the time of writing, streaming on Amazon Prime

Rating: 8/10

Have You Been Watching...? Black Adam (2022)

 

I love a good superhero movie. While Marvel enjoys a huge following and appreciation, Detective Comics movies seem to struggle with popularity. That being said, I adore Man of Steel, Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman and Shazam. Now, this new entry, “Black Adam” was one I’d not heard of before, but gathered enough that it is set in the same storyline as “Shazam!” Would this movie, led by Dwayne Johnson, be a hit or a miss? I settled down to find out. However hard I thought about this, it’s going to be hard to discuss my thoughts without talking about plot. So, beware: SPOILERS AHEAD!

SO our story begins in Kahndaq, an Middle Eastern country under the control of a criminal group (Intergang!). A group of rebels attempt to find an ancient crown (Crown of Sabbac), forged by a magical metal that can be used to unite the people and rise up against the tyranny. The crown belongs to a mythical legend who freed the people of the land once before from evil king Ahk-Ton, and is an iconic hero. Plot happens, and the hero is resurrected in the form of Black Adam. Now, Black Adam is not the hero everyone hoped he would be and in an attempt to reign in the problem of an all-powerful god like entity, imbued with the power of the Gods from Shazam!, who can be called in to save the people and stop a reckless god? No, not Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Cyborg or Batman AKA The Justice League. We get a knock-ff version of the X-Men, complete with Jet. Now, DC fans, please don’t go mad with this – I don’t know who any of them are and have approached this movie as a cinemagoer, not a fan. This group consist of previously unheard ofs “Dr Fate” (Pierce Brosnan), a “kind of” Dr Strange. “Atom Smasher” (Noah Sentineo) a wise-cracking kid who can grow to a huge size similar to……Antman, “Cyclone” (Quintessa Swindell) who can control the weather (well, wind) kind of similar to Storm, and “Hawkman” (Aldis Hodge), a winged flying superfighter, the only one I can’t think of with a Marvel alternative. Supporting our Anti-Hero Adam, is freedom fighting archaeologist Adrianna (who accidentally unleashes Black Adam) and her son Amon, played respectively by Sarah Shahi and Bodhi Sabongui. Plot turns out that Black Adam is not the hero everyone thought he was, but is in fact “Teth-Adam”, the father of the original “Adam” who was imbued by his son’s powers when he was killed and went on a murderous rampage. It is Amon that gives him his new name Black Adam. Movie eventually crawls to an end after a set-piece featuring actual zombies, but stay for the credits as a JL member makes a cameo.

This is a long movie and sadly, not a very good one. Not one of the characters is sympathetic or endearing, coming across as a long list of cliches and stereotypes. Johnson is his maudlin best as Adam, but for some reason, despite being imprisoned for thousands of years, adapts remarkably well to 21^st century life and pop culture, even taking on a catchphrase from Amon. Brosnan is his usual charming best as Dr Fate, but the character is so two dimensional he is nothing more than a cartoon, and I can’t imagine what went through his mind when he read the script (he may have signed up before reading it). Another downside is the over-reliance on computer generated imagery. There’s far too much (not just in this move, but superhero movies in general these days).

It's not ALL bad, though. Saboguni is a great little actor and brings an innocence and charm to Amon, while Sentineo plays Atom Smasher with the awkwardness of an adolescent. While great fun, it’s hard to believe he would ever be dispatched to reign in Black Adam. When one of the main characters is killed off, I felt nothing whatsoever as I hadn’t (as a viewer) been given enough about them to care. The movie also raises a VERY important question, that is mentioned in the film: In a world where they have all these superheroes, why do none of them come over to help the citizens of Kahndaq? The answer is fully addressed in the film and leaves a very bitter taste. I can’t help but agree with the question. Why aren’t they being saved? Who can answer this? At the time of writing, “Shazam – Fury of the Gods” has yet to be released so I don’t know if this is a set-up for that movie or not.

I hate being negative about movies and shows, because a lot of people work really hard on projects like this. However, Black Adam is a terrible movie. There is far too much CGI and exposition, characters are woefully under-developed and plot points are so easy to spot coming that there is nothing in the way of surprises for the viewer. DC fans may enjoy it and get all the references, but after a run of quite enjoyable DC movies, this feels like the first major mis-fire for them.

Year: 2022

Availability – cinema, at the time of writing not available commercially.

HYBW rating – 2/10