Sunday, February 16, 2025

Have You Been Watching...? The Gorge (2025)

 


I had high hopes for The Gorge, Apple's new sci-fi/horror thriller, but unfortunately, it fell flat in almost every conceivable and disappointing way. 

The premise had potential—a thrilling adventure set against a stunning, treacherous landscape—but the execution was so lackluster that it left me questioning why I even bothered to watch it in the first place.

First and foremost, the characters were utterly forgettable. Anna Taylor-Joy is a wonderful actor but she is so wasted in this. Her character, an esteemed assassin no less, is a strong force to be reckoned with, until she ends up meeting Miles Teller as Levi, another esteemed assassin and she becomes some kind of of lovesick teen. Our main heroes lack depth, and their motivations felt forced and unconvincing. I found it impossible to connect with or care about their journey, which made the entire film feel like a tedious slog. Their characters are given some background but it doesn't come in to play at all in a way that drives the story.  The dialogue was equally uninspired, filled with clichés and embarrassing exchanges that made me cringe more than once. Screen legend Sigourney Weaver (whom I adore) appears in a few brief scenes, and I'm left wondering why she even got involved in the first place.

Our story is that two world renowned assassins are posted to observation towers either side of a large mist-filled Gorge in some undisclosed location. Neither really knows why they are there other than to stop whatever is in the Gorge from getting out. To this extent, they are kitted out with the latest weaponry and kit. They must remain at their stations for one year and must not communicate with each other. This goes awry when Taylor-Joy's Drasa decides to contact Levi via writing on an art pad. This, in turn, leads to a strange relationship and peril as the pair find themselves at the bottom of the Gorge and it's horrifying secrets.

The pacing was another major issue with this movie. The first hour dragged on endlessly, with long, drawn-out scenes that added nothing to the plot or character development. By the time the action finally picked up, I was already too bored to care. 

Visually, *The Gorge* was a mixed bag. While the natural scenery was undeniably beautiful, some of the CGI and special effects were distractingly bad. Others were great and there are some unusual and horrifying monster designs but there were moments where the green screen was so obvious that it completely took me out of the experience. For a film that relies so heavily on its setting, this was a major letdown.

Lastly, the ending was a complete letdown. Without giving too much away, it felt rushed and unsatisfying, as if the writers had no idea how to wrap up the story. It left me feeling frustrated and cheated, as though I had wasted my time on a film that couldn’t even deliver a coherent conclusion. There are so many potholes. Zip lines can now hold the weight of a jeep? Why have one person in a position such as guardian of the abyss when the monsters can pretty much gain access anytime they want? They only check in once a month, so of the monsters DID get over the edge, there's be no one to find out for a long time and given the reason why the monsters exist, this is sloppy at best. It's like someone came up with this great hook for the film, but hadn't thought out the practicalities. It's sometimes easy to switch off and enjoy the flick, but not when there's so many things to question.

In short, The Gorge is a textbook example of wasted potential. Viewers have drawn parallels with The Last of Us, but unlike that miniseries, The Gorge is a dull, poorly executed film that fails to deliver on its promises. Go in with low expectations and you won't be too disappointed.

Friday, January 24, 2025

Have You Been Watching...? Nosferatu (2024)



Robert Eggers' Nosferatu is a masterclass in atmospheric storytelling, weaving a tale that is both hauntingly beautiful and profoundly chilling. Eggers has reimagined the classic 1922 silent film with prefect attention to the source material, period detail and psychological depth, creating a cinematic experience that feels both timeless and fresh.


The film's visual aesthetic is breathtaking, with cinematography that captures the eerie, shadow-drenched set-pieces and claustrophobic interiors, pulling the audience into the gothic world of obsession and horror. The deliberate slow pacing builds an almost unbearable tension, punctuated by moments of blatant terror and poignant melancholy.


The performances are nothing short of extraordinary. The cast, led by an Nicholas Holt as a naive Thomas Hutter and Bill Skasgaard as the truly unforgettable titular vampire, imbues each character with complexity and emotion, elevating the story beyond its horror roots into the realm of tragedy. Aaron Taylor-Johnson provides the outsiders view of the proceedings and a goes through the mill on this. The film’s haunting score further amplifies the dread, acting as an integral character in this dark symphony.


Nosferatu is more than just a horror film; it’s a profound exploration of humanity’s deepest fears and desires, executed with master craftsmanship. It is a stunning achievement and lingers with you long after the credits roll 

 

Year: 2024

Rating 9/10

Availability: in cinemas now

Have You Been Watching?...Werewolves (2024)

 


I do like horror and action flicks and werewolves tend to get overlooked in this genre compared to the other "classics" such as ghosts and vampires. Werewolves, directed and produced by Stephen C Miller (Escape Plan 2, Margaux) has an intriguing plot and appears to do what it says on the tin. It even just proudly calls itself Werewolves, just in case you miss the point. A lot of the lycanthrope based stories can be cheesy at best, but this one? Well, it makes you want the full moon to set early. Sorry, Supermoon.


The premise teases potential: a supermoon triggers a global werewolf pandemic, and humanity braces for a repeat performance a year later. This isn't a spoiler, on screen text explains all this at the beginning. Which is a shame, that sound like the plot for a great movie!. However, one year in, enter Frank Grillo as Wesley Marshall, a molecular biologist with the physique of an action hero—because who says you can't pipette samples and bench press 300 pounds simultaneously?


Grillo (MCU, Warrior) known for his tough-guy charm, does his best to inject life into the role. However, even his rugged charisma can't outmuscle a script that seems to have been penned during a particularly uninspired lunar cycle. Characters make bizarre decisions and I found myself yelling "What?" and "Why?" at the screen far too many times. I wished by the end I could take a silver bullet and put this movie out of my misery.

 

The film's reliance on practical effects is commendable in an era dominated by CGI and the transformations are excellent, definitely one of them movies highlights. Sadly, with direction that mistakes lens flares for atmosphere, the visual experience is more distracting than immersive. 


Plot-wise, Werewolves meanders through a chaotic narrative, where little to nothing makes any sense. The pacing lurches, leaving viewers checking their watches more than their pulse rates. The previous Supermoon transformations are not really explored. The rest of the world is ignored (surely Australia would have been through the experience before the good ol' USA but that's not even touched upon?) 


In the end, Werewolves is a missed opportunity, failing to deliver the campy fun or genuine thrills that its concept promises. Even die-hard fans of the genre might find themselves howling—not at the moon, but at the sheer disappointment.

Year: 2024

Rating: 2 out of 10 (One star for Grillo and the other for the transformations)

Availability: 



Sunday, January 12, 2025

Have You Been Watching...? Hundreds of Beavers (2024)



Sometimes along comes a movie that is so off-the-wall and unhinged that it just makes me happy. Hundreds of Beavers is just that.  It's an ambitious and highly creative film that stands out with its unique blend of slapstick humor, silent film-style storytelling, and surreal visuals. Directed by Mike Cheslik, this black-and-white feature brings back the charm of classic comedies like Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin, but with a whimsical twist.


The plot revolves around a down-and-out fur trapper (Ryland Brickson Cole Tews) who, after losing his business, embarks on an increasingly absurd quest to capture a hundred beavers in order to win the hand of the lady he's fallen in love with, as a directive of her father. The film's genius lies in its simple premise, which slowly escalates into a chaotic adventure full of exaggerated physical comedy and inventive set pieces. Without any dialogue, the movie relies on strong visual gags and expressive performances to convey its story, and it succeeds brilliantly.


The film's aesthetic is deliberately old-school, with grainy textures and exaggerated facial expressions. The homage to the silent movie era is a refreshing break from dialogue-heavy films, proving that pure visual storytelling can be as engaging and entertaining as ever. The beavers themselves, portrayed by actors is furry suits and oversized heads, add to the surreal charm of the movie, creating a playful and unpredictable atmosphere.


What makes Hundred of Beavers stand out is its dedication to its style and humor. It’s quirky, bold, always ridiculous, but never dull. The pacing is quick, ensuring that the audience is constantly entertained, and the variety of slapstick set-ups keeps the laughs coming.


Hundred of Beavers is a delightful and offbeat comedy that pays tribute to silent-era filmmaking while embracing its own quirky identity. It’s perfect for audiences looking for something different, whimsical, and rooted in the joy of visual comedy.

Year: 2024

Rating: 10/10

Availability: digital streaming, DVD and Blu Ray


Sunday, January 5, 2025

Have You Been Watching...? Nightsleeper (2023)

 


Night Sleeper is a BBC limited series set mostly on an overnight 'sleeper' train from Scotland to London. The series plays out in real time, almost. It stars Joe Cole (Peaky Blinders, Skins) as Joseph Roag, a police officer with a secret and Alexandra Roach (No Offence, Sanditon) as Abby Aysgarth, acting "Technical Director" of the National Cyber Security Centre. It is these two characters that lead the drama.

Night Sleeper had all the makings of a gripping drama, but unfortunately, it fell short of expectations. The show suffered from pacing issues right from the start, with sluggish storytelling that made it difficult to stay engaged. The plot, which promised a high-stakes thriller on a sleeper train, was bogged down by unnecessary subplots and flat character development.


Written by Nick Leather (CBBC's Rocket Island), the script lacked the punch needed for a series like this, often relying on clichés and predictable twists that were more frustrating than thrilling. The characters themselves felt underdeveloped, making it hard to invest emotionally in their fates. Some performances were solid, such as David Threlfall (Shameless) as "Pev", in a role not far removed from his well known role as Frank Gallagher , but others felt wooden, and the dialogue often seemed forced, further undermining the tension the show was trying to build.


Visually, Night Sleeper had moments of atmospheric tension, but even that couldn't save the overall experience. The CGI looks poor indeed, and removes the viewer from the drama instantly. What could have been an edge-of-your-seat thriller ended up feeling more like a long, uneventful journey with little payoff at the end. In the crowded landscape of British dramas, Night Sleeper unfortunately fails to stand out.

I really want to like this, but it turned out to be overlong and padded with unnecessary moments. I wanted to give up after episode 2, but wanted to give it a chance. Sadly, it was a chance the series squandered.

Year: 2024

Rating 4/10

Availability: currently streaming on BBCiplayer


Have You Been Watching...? The Gorge (2025)

  I had high hopes for The Gorge, Apple's new sci-fi/horror thriller, but unfortunately, it fell flat in almost every conceivable and di...